


Wave Off These Despairs

by Earth_Spirit



Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Sensory Deprivation, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, Teambuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2020-10-11 12:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 23,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20545835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earth_Spirit/pseuds/Earth_Spirit
Summary: It was a cold and wet day in Gotham and Floyd was calling bullshit on the "First Day of Spring" slapped on the bottom of the calendar. He wasn't convinced it still isn't winter. Here he was, walking the crowded streets of Gotham with his daughter and standing right in front of him was none other than the devil’s ex wife, Commander Amanda Waller. One look at her, he already had an idea why she was here."I don't think so."Suicide Squad x Pacific Rim CrossoverUpdate: Added a new chapter in, it's chapter 10.





	1. The Return

**Author's Note:**

> A little something to know of the story.  
People are going to be out of character. Most notably Harley Quinn. She's not going to be crazy. There's no super heroes(i.e. Batman). Bruce Wayne may show up, but I haven't figured out where I want the story to go yet. Joker is also not a thing, just a bad ex-boyfriend.  
I'm also changing Rick's background. He's going to be a Swedish American.

It was a cold day in Gotham. It had officially turned spring, but things were still dead. The ground wet and still half frozen, not unlike most days in Gotham, but still enough of an annoyance to make Floyd regret going out today. It just served to remind him how cold it was. The ‘First Day of Spring’ slapped on the bottom of the calendar was a steamy pile of crap. Floyd wasn’t convinced it still isn’t winter. However, Zoe had wanted to go out for new spring outfits, and with those eyes looking at him how could he say no.

Which brings them here. Walking the wet and crowded streets of Gotham and standing right in front of him is none other than the devil’s ex wife, Commander Amanda Waller. Standing in front of him casually as you like with her deep red satin lined suit. With an outfit like that, Floyd can only guess she’s not here on any order but her own.

One look at her, he already had an idea why she was here.

Everyone had that sense of dread closing in. Pressing in. Getting closer. Such darkness. Cold sweat. Waking up. Heart pumping. Running. Zoe. Is she safe. Where am I. Home. Safe. Zoe. Safe.

The kaiju were still being a pain in the ass. Although he couldn’t speak for everyone else, but he noticed how more frequently they were showing up now. After washing his hands of the Jaeger program, he left there relieved but with a bigger sense of doubt and apprehension. Constantly wondering how far the next kaiju will make it inland. That was why he left. The thought of Zoe alone with those piles of bullshit hulking around was enough to hand in his uniform and jaeger and blowing that particular popsicle stand a goodbye kiss. He saw how many jaegers were losing, how many pilots were being killed.

“I don’t think so.”

No, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t leave. He didn’t want to either. She has to find someone else. She has to. There’s got to be someone.

“There is no one left, Floyd.” She always had a nasty talent for figuring out how his mind worked. That cut deep. He knew there wasn’t many left willing to die trying to hold those monsters back.

She noticed his hesitation, “The Jaeger Program has been cut and given once last chance, after that, the UN will be focusing all its efforts on that damned wall. We have our last group of volunteers coming to the Shatterdome in Hong Kong. We need you with us Floyd.”

“First off, only my friends call me Floyd. Second, you must have enough people left to pass through your high standards to make a team. I’m not going. I can’t leave her. I won’t and you can’t convince me otherwise.”

Although it didn’t show on her face, he picked up on a sense of...smugness? No. That glint in her eyes. She won. She can’t possibly believe that.

“She can come with if that’s what’s stopping you. I’m not going to stand here and argue my side. Well?”

Damn it. Still, it was a risk leaving her here. It was a risk having her come with. The thing now was...which was worse? Knowing she’d be alone if there was an attack or knowing she’d be closer to the danger. Damn it. She won. There’s that nasty talent again. She’d be safer at Shatterdome. It was a fortress. Of sorts. Plenty of people to help her if she needed it. Maybe he could convince her to get some training.

‘The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm.’

Damn. It.

Waller nods subtly, “Good. Follow me, we leave now. No need to pack, I’ve already had that done for you. Quickly now. A storm is rolling in.” She turns and he swears that her heels gave a quick snap on the pavement.

With that dismissal, he’s left slightly nonplussed. Of course she already had their things packed. She never did anything she didn’t think she’d lose. However, with a sense of achievement, he took his surprised daughter’s hand and looked at her, hoping to calm her. To give her reassurance. She gave him a smile and they followed the Commander. He still had a smirk on his face.

It took Waller all this time to really figure out why he quit and stayed away. Maybe she didn’t always know what went on in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be honest, i'm very new at writing. This is technically my second fanfic ever. I've had this idea for a long time now. And with some encouragement and help, I hope to make a good fanfic.
> 
> Please let me know if there are any mistakes or if you have any tips for a new writer.
> 
> Thank you and I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Anyone catch that reference?


	2. What's With All the Rain?

“Can’t I ever be in a place that isn’t constantly raining?”

Here they are. Shatterdome. The flight was long and sucked away any energy Floyd might have had. They landed and guess what. They’re right back in Gotham apparently. Hong Kong. Gotham. They both look the same with the grey curtain of rain clouds hovering above the city and with pouring rain. Both made it hard for him to see.

They landed on the tarmac and step out into the torrent. A young lady was there to greet them. She quickly handed everyone an umbrella. She quickly says something to the commander who gives her a small nod. She turns to the Lawton's, gives a quick bow, and introduces herself as Tatsu Yamashiro. Zoe does the same with a big smile on her face. Ever since that morning, after stepping into the helicopter, she watched as Gotham faded away and saw the open sea. That smile never leaving her face. The woman, Tatsu, didn't seem too surprised to see Zoe. Waller must have informed her. Either way, Tatsu gave a small smile to the Lawton's.

After leaving the program, Floyd came home to find his ex wife and her boyfriend fucking around, avoiding any normal human responsibilities and seeming to forget that there’s a little girl who still needed a parental figure. Both were high, drunk, and completely unaware of Floyd standing in the doorway.

The state of the apartment was unethical.

The kitchen to the right had food and empty boxes strewn about, the sink piled high with week old plates, bowls, and utensils. The living room had clothes, garbage, food crumbs, and a small pile of empty bottles by the leg of the couch, which by itself looked like a skeleton. It’s fabric ripped up, batting falling off, and the cushion under it all, was so compressed, it probably couldn’t pass the standards of a cat, much less a well-in-mind human being.

He bypassed them and found Zoe in the smallest room of the apartment. Her room clean but bare. Like she didn’t want to unpack anything. She was previously lounging on her bed. She looked up with eyes filled with tears. She stood up and gently gave him a hug, her face buried in his chest. Her shoulders and upper body started shivering slightly. Sniffles were heard. She looked up again and had the most reassuring tender smile. It made those long years of stress and battle disappear. He had almost forgotten what her hugs feel like. She’s gotten taller since then. Her eyes held more wisdom and looked more worldly than last he saw them. He wasn’t hearing her crying anymore, but was actually hearing himself. Tears have long since started falling, there was no stopping them now.

He missed her so much. He hasn’t felt the love and warmth of anyone in a long time. He dropped to his knees and she wrapped her arms around him, encompassing him in light and serenity. They had grabbed her things and left. His ex tried to put up a protest, but with the threat of being charged for child endangerment and possession, she closed her jaw so quickly, he could feel her teeth clacking together. He found a new home for them. A new beginning. A new life with his daughter and for five years, they were content and happy.

The nightmares never left though. They crept up every once in a while. Every time he’d see a kaiju on the news, he was always left jittery and jumpy. Restless. Fear. Dread. Worry. Where am I. Zoe. Safe. Home.

That life is over, no. Put on hold. At least his daughter was taking everything in stride and was by his side. She was excited for both of them. There she was, turning, captivated by the sights. There’s always a little more to surprise him. She’s strong. She could handle this and if she could, so could he. He, too, looked around. He hadn’t been wrong when he called Shatterdome a fortress. It couldn’t have been anything less. To house several jaegers at a time; to have room for staff, a cafeteria, training rooms, engineering, a science department, rooms for personnel; it had to be big. It was a monument, a testament to human endeavor and endurance. A sentinel overlooking the city and the sea.

“Come along now, Lawton’s. Much to do and much to see.”

They both start and hurry to catch up. Tatsu watched both of them. They both had the same shoulder twitch when startled. It wasn’t full body, just the shoulders. They both turn their heads around, instead of whipping it. She smiled a little. Like father, like daughter. She lengthens her stride to stay with the group.

“You’ll be working alongside teams from Australia, America, the United Kingdom, and so forth. There are no official teams right now. Everyone has to go through physical training, psych evaluations and go through neural-handshake procedures. It gets everyone on the same page and ready for the same test. After that’s all over with, you’ll be pitted against one another to see who’s compatible with whom.”

“You don’t have to go through the whole introductory speech with me. I’ve already had it, remember?” Floyd intervened. He did not want to listen to this all over again. It’s only been five years, but he’s had seen the commander do this speech every time there was someone new.

Composed and unshaken by interruption, Commander Waller huffs a sort of laugh. He can admire how she can always give that speech without wanting to hurt herself or someone else. It probably got old very quickly. If he had to say that every time, he’d be pretty damn close to wanting to get a shot off. Preferably the nearest tenderfoot.

“Very well. Tatsu will show the both of you to your rooms. A schedule will be given to you to catch you up to speed. If you have any questions, Tatsu will be the person to go to. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got things to do. We’ll see you at dinner.”

Again, another short and to the point dismissal. She was always good that those. They were efficient and effective. No need to drag it out.

With a quick wave of her hand, Tatsu led them past the bay. Titans looked down on them. Floyd knew they were cold and empty, but that didn’t lessen the impact they had on people. They still had presence. Imposing. Formidable. Inspiring. The jaegers were almost deified. How could they not be. Some of the greatest engineering in the history of humankind, built to push back the nightmares of the world. He missed it. The feeling of being more than yourself. He missed the Drift. The connection to your copilot. Your partner. Your other half. He was told on the flight here that is was only fifteen months after he left that his old copilot had been killed and their jaeger had been cannibalized for parts.

Floyd turned away from the longing and followed the two in front. They were in a deep conversation. He picked up on the last bit of it. Tatsu saying that there was another family here as well, they too had children. At least Zoe would have friends her age here. Here of all places. That’s definitely something.

At last they arrive to their room. Joint rooms apparently and right next to the other family. Santana. Floyd is given a basic schedule and they are given the cafeteria hours. With a ‘see you at dinner,’ Tatsu gives a small bow and heads off.

The two noticed that all their belongings were out into their respective rooms. They put down their umbrellas, still wet from the rain. Damn, Floyd wanted a shower. That was another thing he missed. You’d think that with a place like this and how many people roomed here, that shower pressure and temperature would be shit, but it wasn’t. Although he was stationed elsewhere, Shatterdome was built like all others. Floyd used to joke with the other pilots that he only stayed with the Jaeger Program for the showers. It wasn't far from the truth. He would often think about why he stayed. Sure, save humanity, but what was the cost worth? It sure wasn't worth not seeing Zoe again. So for all they knew and cared, maybe he did stay for sole reason of a good shower system. With that in mind, Floyd grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom.

Warm. In a way that rivals the warmth he feels from Zoe’s hugs. He takes his time with it. He washes away the stress and uncertainties of the day and focus on the water. Any thought of the future pauses. Warm. Serenity. Home. Calm. Clean. Warmth. He turns off the water, dries off, gets dressed and waits in the hallway for his daughter. Together, hand in hand, they head off to the cafeteria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not great at writing. Please let me know what you think. If you have any tips for a new writer, please impart some wisdom.  
It might be a slow burn story. Or at least an infrequently updated story.


	3. A Cult? Really?

It was a cacophony of noise and it was chaos. Humans trying to get around each other without spilling anything, and from the clattering heard every so often, some had not succeeded. The small aisles between the tables were still abysmal, hardly two people could walk down one just to reach their seats. It was a crowded place, one that Floyd wished he never had to see one again, but he guessed that with the decisions he’d made in the last day, sacrifices had to be made. The cafeteria at his old base was much larger, yes, but still just as cramped and claustrophobic.

Zoe walked ahead of her father, unperturbed. She dealt with this enough at school. It barely bothered her. She dared a quick look at him and had the best glimpse of him. His face was one of disdain, if a little childish looking. She found it a little humorous that he could risk his life and face a creature such as a kaiju without so much as a complaint, but being in an overcrowded cafeteria was drawing the line. She turned away, hoping to find a table that was empty enough for her father. By chance, or maybe not, she found one.

Tatsu had a plate of food in front of her. Next to her was a lovely looking lady. Bright blonde hair, the ends colored differently than the rest of her hair, and next to her was a woman with rich burgundy hair. Tatsu saw them approach and waved them over. Tatsu introduced them to each other.

“Zoe, these are my friends. Pamela Isley and Harley Quinn. They’re going to be working with your dad and the others. Ivy is a part of our science department and Quinn is our psychologist. She’ll be the one overseeing your psych tests, Mr. Lawton.” Floyd looked over to the blonde and huffed,

“I know. We’ve met before. How’ve you been, Quinn?”

“Hello, sugar! It’s been a long few years hasn’t it? I’ve been well and yourself?”

“Can’t really complain,” Floyd took a seat with the three while he sent Zoe to get food, “You still with what’s-his-face?”

“God no. Finally opened my eyes to what a complete ass he was and left. The relationship was going nowhere anyways. I was half a world away helping jaeger pilots and I enjoyed the distance.”

“Good for you then.” It was basic small-talk. It was easy, but a part of him had really missed her. She helped him more than once with his nightmares and his colliding frustrations with his copilot. She was also the one that really made Floyd think about giving up the fighting. He knew she saw his conflicting feelings and how it affected his performance. She questioned him, gently, over and over what he wanted most. He couldn’t thank her enough, but he knew that she knew. He didn’t need to say it...did he? He brought his eyes up to look at hers. He saw her give a soft smile and a small nod.

_Of course she knows. I don’t need to say thank you. The only other person to know my mind. Though she’s had practice, given her career._

Zoe had come back with two full plates. His stomach had settled after talking with Quinn, so he had no problem with a plate full of his favorites. He gave her a side hug as a thank you. Zoe was a gift. A treasure. He could do this. With her and the support of Quinn beside him, he felt he could do this.

“So Harley, where’s your patient?” Pamela asked, forked in hand, poised to take a bite.

“He’s in the water. Today was a rough day. I suggested a longer session and for once he didn’t kick up a fuss. He told me to go on ahead, said he wasn’t hungry for dinner. I better come back to find he hasn’t drowned.”

Zoe looked between the two, interest piqued,

“Patient?”

Pamela and Harley looked at her. Zoe had an inquisitive nature, she hoped that she wasn’t intruding much on the conversation. She didn’t want to annoy them or get them in trouble by violating patient confidentiality.

“Yes, he was injured a while back. He still needs some physical therapy to keep his body loose,” Harley answered back gently.

“And you’re trying water therapy?”

“Yes, we are. Less stress on the body and helps people exercise with less pain. It’s easy on the joints and the water provides enough resistance to help people strengthen their muscles. It’s helped so many people, even animals. It’s my preferred method of therapy.“

“So you’re a therapist of the mind and the body! That’s amazing! What made you choose that career?”

Floyd couldn’t have loved Zoe more. He was proud of how she grew up, despite the situation she was put in. She was an intelligent young lady, more worldly than most her age. Always eager to learn more about everything. She was an easy conversationalist and got along with almost everyone. Floyd listened to them talk on and ate his food.

“Say, Floyd. I did forget to mention something. While everyone is able to leave the base, you must be accompanied, and you’ll have to keep an eye out for cultists,” Tatsu said softly over the others.

Floyd was comically frozen, mid-bite,

“Come again?”

“They’re the Cult of the Kaiju.”

“You’re kidding me? Right? Please tell me that’s a joke. It’s one thing to be fighting creatures from the oceanic abyss, but now I have to worry about cultists? Cultists!?”

“I wish it was a joke. Since we’re closer to the breach, people around here had started to make sense of the kaiju. The cult believe that the personification of Earth, a deity, called forth the kaiju from the depths to punish humanity. They firmly believe that humans are the monsters. We’re killing the planet, so a deity decides to punish us all. Humankind, under immense pressure experience a certain type of fear. In the hopes of self-preservation, we can turn to the wildest conclusions. It’s amazing how the mind can work. How it can cope.”

Floyd had long since abandoned his fork in favor of rubbing away a sprouting headache at his temple. The conversation between Zoe and the other two halted.

“They haven’t been much trouble, but the Commander is worried for everyone on the base if they head into the city. She is worried what the cult might do to those who fight against their god’s enforcers. That’s why we now go out in groups. If you’re alone and they gang up on you, no amount of training can win against those kinds of numbers. You can try and hold out, but these people are fueled by a primal fear and fevered minds. You can’t win against that kind of wild adrenaline.”

Damn. Damn it all. He’s definitely having Zoe put through physical training.

“Does she think they’ll try to attack the base directly? I mean, it’s crazy to think about, but with our last ditch effort, do you think they might try something?”

It’s a scary thought to have, but one that needs to be thought about. If there’s been no follow through, there’s no telling what these cultist might have or what they might do. Tatsu shook her head,

“I don’t know. I think she’s more worried about getting everyone ready for the kaiju. If they do anything, I’m fairly certain she’d be more than willing to order us to step on them with the jaeger.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.”

They all shared a very diluted laugh at such an image. It certainly wasn’t hard to visualize.

A quiet beeping was just barely hear over the noise of the cafeteria hall. Harley lifted a wrist to reveal a watch. She picked up her tray,

“I have to get going. My patient should be done with his session and he needs to eat. I’ll see you all tomorrow. Zoe, it was an absolute pleasure meeting you. Just come see me if your dad ever annoys you to the point of mental breakdown.”

She winked at him and bolted off before he had the chance to take a swat at her. He could feel the heat rising to his face as his daughter laughs. He watches her grab some food for her mysterious patient before disappearing down the hall. Embarrassment aside, he’s definitely missed her. Shaking his head, he goes back to his dinner. He’ll find a way to get back at her another time.


	4. The Test

The training hall was filled with men and women alike. Buff and all hoping for a chance at piloting a jaeger. Everyone was sizing each other up, bragging about their skills, or figuring out who they might be paired up with. They’d all been through their psych evaluations and had a crash course on jaegers. Floyd, who was certain he could pilot one in his sleep, appreciated the class. Five years is enough time to forget the smaller things. 

Floyd, after waking up and having breakfast, had gotten changed into more appropriate attire. Drawstring sweatpants and a white tank top. On his way over, he saw a plaque. He saw the names of lost jaegers and their pilots. It was sombering. To see all those who’ve done their best to fight against an insurmountable adversary. He saw his old partner’s name engraved and left adrift alongside the other names just as important. Overcome with emotion, Floyd could feel something crawl its way up his throat, threatening to turn into tears. He might’ve been at odds with Chrisopher at the end, but he was still a good friend. They shared so many years and just as many battles together. They shared a bond that was unexplainable to someone who’d never been in a drift. Swallowing down that lump and paying respects to those names, he left.

Now, in a steadily stifling hall, seriously get some better air-conditioning, he waited for his name to be called upon. Waiting to fight someone. He really wanted to get some frustrations out, but had to remember that it isn’t about winning. It’s not about dominance or who was more skilled than the other, it was about compatibility. Physical and non-physical. It’s about reading each other. 

Floyd watched as teams were made and sent off to the room next door to start training together. He watched as some failed and were set up to fight again and again, witnessing them run out of stamina and breath. He wanted to walk away, bored out of his mind, but also afraid. He really didn’t want to be one of those guys, sweaty and on the edge of collapse. He had been physically compatible with many people, but when it came down to the neural-handshake procedures, Christopher had been the only one to match.

Unfortunately, his name was called next. He watched as Tatsu and her co-pilot, a man who he completely forgot the name of, walked off the mat. She opted to stay, to watch Floyd’s match. Great, she can watch as he blunders it. He approached the mat. He nodded to Commander Waller as she tells the man next to her, to call his opponent. The man had short blonde hair and was wearing a long sleeve shirt and was holding a tablet in the crook of his elbow. He wasn’t that hard on the eyes, if Floyd was being honest with himself.

_ Get your head in the game. You’re not here for that. _

He held his staff in his hand and waited for his opponent.

Fight after fight, no one matched. No one even came close. He would win some fights, he would lose some, but there was no one compatible. Physically, some did, but he didn’t feel that connection. It was all about compatibility, not just physical. He just couldn’t find that neural connection. It was an outcome he was sure would never happen, but it was a possibility, however unlikely. Statistically speaking, there had to be someone who matched up with him. With all the people left in the hall, there had to be someone, but he didn’t have the time nor the energy to fight them all. He was a pilot from an old age of jaeger, yes, but it couldn’t have changed that much. They all felt too jumpy, too eager, too new. 

He took in a blessed lungful of air and observed the man lean a little towards the Commander and speak quietly to her. She gives that subtle nod,

“That’s enough for now, Lawton. Go clean up and meet me in my office in ten minutes.”

He heaves a sigh and nodded his acknowledgment. In his periphery, he saw Tatsu’s sympathetic look and the mixed emotions he saw from the others. Some were mocking, some were pity and sympathy, some weren’t even looking. They’d seen this happen before, why should they care. Floyd kept walking forward. He wasn’t ashamed, just tired.

In exactly ten minutes, he was clean and dressed and standing outside of Waller’s door. Apprehension settling in his chest and shoulders. The door was opened and he walked in. Waller gave him a look as he stepped in front of her desk. He wanted to stay standing, to give the impression of indifference, but he saw the look she gave him and he knew he should sit down. 

“Want to tell me what happened?” Waller started, sitting back with her arms folded in her lap.

He really wanted to say that she should already know what happened, but she really wasn’t the one who deserved his testy mood. For more reasons than one.

“None of them were compatible. I’m not used to that.” Honesty is the best route with this woman.

“That certainly makes things harder. We need seasoned veterans like you, but it will mean nothing if you can’t find a co-pilot. Is this you having second doubts and it’s affecting your performance?”

“No. I know, now, what I need to do. No one can run from this anymore. I don’t need to be convinced. It’s just...different. They’re too different from the guys I fought alongside all those years ago. They’re so dissimilar to Chris. That link just isn’t there. I can connect with others physically, but it all comes down to the drift. If I could just see who I could drift with, rather than fight them, it would be easier.” Floyd revealed, losing posture and let his head rest in the palms of his hands.

“It would be very easy and much quicker. If I go along with that, I would like you to drift with someone of my choosing.”

“If it got this whole thing over fast, yeah, I’ll drift with anyone you want. I want this over with.”

He wanted it over with. Not just this conversation, not just the whole ‘find that perfect someone to share your memories and your thoughts with’, but the war. He’s tired of that bone deep weariness. He’s tired of those damned kaiju.

“Good. You’re free for the rest of the day, but tomorrow you’ll meet your new partner.”

“Let’s hope so.”

With a nod on both accounts, Floyd leaves and heads to his room to sleep for the better part of the day.

Floyd is woken up by Zoe, shaking him by the shoulder. He looks at the clock and groans at the time. He was hoping it’d be morning, but nope. Just dinner time. Oh well, food is always a great motivator. He rolls out of bed and begrudgingly follows his daughter to the cafeteria.

Again, they find themselves sitting with Harley, Pamela, and Tatsu. Judging by their faces, they already know about his struggle earlier that day. Pamely was more conservative with her pity, Tatsu still have that look of sympathy, and Harvey had a look of slight concern. Of worry. However, when she took her eyes away from Floyd to turn to her plate, that look didn’t change.

_ What worries her so, to have a face like that. _

With some effort, he dragged his gaze away from her to look at Tatsu and congratulated her. Whatever conversation occurred afterwards fell short, on his part. He might have cared but he was finding it increasingly difficult to muster the energy to even lift his fork to his mouth. Eventually, they were done with their food and the Lawton’s left for bed. Floyd kissed his daughter on the head and wished her a good night, a sentiment she returned. 

Time for a long sleep, one he really didn’t want to be woken up from.


	5. Area of Her Rule

The day started out like any other, except for the fact that Floyd’s body had apparently went on strike. Limbs were refusing to move and he was having a hard time opening his eyes.

Yep. It’s going to be a day.

He looked over to the clock, once his eyes decided to work. It was too early for movement, it was too early for anything, despite the fact that Floyd had completely missed breakfast with everyone else. Oh well, he’ll just grab a snack or just wait until lunch. 

He really wanted to go back to sleep but there was an incessant beeping. Stealing himself and his currently fragile state of being, he raised up slowly, his hand slapping around the desk for his phone.

Zoe

What? Why would she be calling? Is everything ok?

“Hey kiddo, what’s up?”

“I’d hurry up, if I were you, before you miss breakfast completely.”

Wait.

It’s well past breakfast.

Isn’t it?

One more glance at the clock revealed to him that he read the numbers wrong. Well, a freshly awoken mind doesn’t always make sense of things.

With a quick word, Floyd hung up, torn his sleep shirt off to put a fresh one on. He looked down and decided that breakfast wasn’t completely worth taking off comfortable pants, and he took off running down the hall.

At least he wasn’t the only one to sleep in, there were others that seemed just as tired as he did. A small plate and he headed for the usual table. Amused faces greeted him and he sat down and started shoveling food. He did eat slow enough to talk with others around the table. Which was slightly...unfortunate, because there was an addition today. A rugged man with a messy beard. His smile was somewhat unsettling and kind of mocking. He also had a silver front tooth, it was very distracting. The man was complete with a single earring on the left and thick braided silver necklace which had his dog tags dangling from. His face really didn’t fit well with his standard issued fatigues and tank top. 

“Mornin’ mate! Saw you fightin’ yesterday. Good on ya!” Australian for sure. His tone was kind of condescending and it kind of made Floyd want to punch him, but it was too early in the morning to get into a fight.

“I take it this is your partner?” Floyd said and he turned to Tatsu, who looked like she wanted to be amused or slap her partner.

“Yes, George Harkness. He’s left seat.”

“Cool.”

Yes. It’s going to be a day. 

_ Let’s just hope that Waller’s candidate isn’t someone like this guy. Hopefully it’s someone that I’ll get along with and actually like. _

He looked around and noticed someone was missing, 

“Where’s Quinn?”

“Oh, she finished breakfast by the time we all sat down. Had things to do.”

The conversation basically fell afterwards, but thankfully they were soon done with breakfast and Floyd had walked around with Zoe for a bit until he felt a vibration in his pocket. 

A message from Waller, to meet in Quinn’s office.

“Alright sweetie, I’ve got to get going. Be good and don’t get lost!” He said and he hugged his daughter and departed, leaving Zoe to explore.

She watched as her father headed off. She turned to start exploring when she was approached by Tatsu and her co-pilot who offered to guide her around. Tatsu also said that she could meet some other jaeger teams. She beamed up at them, excited to finally see more of the Shatterdome.

Floyd had been approaching Quinn’s door at a speed which was declining fairly quickly as he heard voices arguing.

“I’ve told you before that I can’t do this!” A man’s voice came through the door, angry and exasperated.

“The only thing left that’s holding you back is yourself. She’s cleared you for active return. The two of you are the best chance this operation has at success. You both are the most seasoned pilots that we currently have.” Most definitely the Commander’s voice.

“Him, maybe. Besides, she’s cleared me physically! We don’t know what’ll happen if I go into the drift. I can’t do this, Commander.”

“You can argue all you want about this, but you’re ready. You’ve gone through enough therapy to put you back on track and you’ve done well on recent psych evaluations. When it comes down to it, you’re still holding yourself back. You can say that it’s your body or that it’s your mind, but it’s still you. You’re doing this, Flag, and I better not hear another word.”

Her voice was strict and gave no room for another argument, one Floyd was sure the man inside that room really wanted to get into. This man, however, was smart and stayed quiet, obviously aware of his loss. It was rare for someone to get into an argument with Waller and win. You had to go into it, completely sure you’d achieve victory. This man had fought an unbalanced battle. With an ‘ok’ from Quinn herself, it was clear he had to go along with whatever the Commander said.

Floyd waited for a minute before knocking on the door, which opened promptly. Floyd had looked into Harley’s eyes and saw a tiredness that he didn’t see often on her fair face. She stepped aside to let him in. Floyd saw the Commander in the chair behind Quinn’s desk, and slouched in the chair in front of her desk was the same man he saw at the candidate compatibility tests. His posture was that of defeat. One made by children who were told off by parents. Floyd also took note of the equipment for the neural handshake link. 

Harley saw Floyd’s glance at the instruments,

“You’ll be doing the initial handshake here instead of a very expensive jaeger. It’s simply to test the compatibility between you both. It’s safer and there’s less eyes around.”

He and this man, Flag was apparently his name, looked at each other.

“Let’s do this, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a hard time with titles, so sometimes you'll get chapter titles that i'm using for my own original story. And that's where the title of this story comes from, it's a chapter title in my story. It was inspired by the poem, The Leaden Echo by Gerard Manley Hopkins. It's an amazing poem.


	6. Rick Flag

Recruits weren’t anything new, they flocked in all the time. However, with the kaiju presenting a more pressing threat, the Jaeger Program had gone out and gathered as many willing volunteers and brought them back in a tidal wave. Everyone who worked within the Shatterdome had a lot of stress coming, especially the trainers. Rick, along with Waylon, who divided his time between training the tenderfoots and engineering, were warned long before the candidates came.

Rick had the arduous task of training them all, though not alone. Each trainer had to work with the recruits but once they were paired off, they had to go through more specialized training. They had to train them physically and then mentally, to prepare them for the neural load of the drift. The psychologists had to deal with more of the fallout on that part than they did. They were with the pilots before and after initiating the neural-handshake. Some had an easier time of it than others, but they were still given the support of their doctors.

By the time the physical compatibility test came along, Rick was admittedly bored. Once it was over, things tended to move much faster. 

Standing beside the Commander, he watched as people fought, failed, and connected. A few stood out more than others. Tatsu and her partner, Harkness, Chato and his wife, Grace, and a veteran named Floyd. The Commander had talked about bringing him in, but Rick still found himself surprised. Here was a man of legend, one of the best fighters of their generation. Determination set into his shoulders as his name is called.

He witnessed the man fight more people than any other before him, many were compatible with him, but even Rick noticed that the connection that really mattered wasn’t there. Each fight was progressively worse than the other, the compatibility no longer there. He watched as Floyd was broken down to the bare basics of a man. Sweaty, shaking, out of breath, and now on the floor. Some could probably even see his soul leaving his body.

Despite everything, Rick wasn’t feeling as bad for the man as he thought, just thoroughly impressed. Rick saw a man walk in, almost as bored as he and once his first fight came, he saw a fierceness in those eyes. He saw said man fall, but those eyes never changed. Not many could go for as long as him. To have the strength left to look up and have a fire burning in their soul. There was something to admire about a man like that.

Floyd left and things went as normal.

However, at the end of the day, Waller called him into her office. To tell him that he’ll be drifting the next day. 

Rick was put on full stop. He refused immediately and left without the leave of his commander. Something one should not do, especially if the commander is Amanda Waller. Oh well, he’ll deal with the consequences later.

That night, he couldn’t get to sleep. No nightmares, no nothing, he just couldn’t fall asleep. He tried reading, he watched a movie, he listened to ambient sounds, but still he found himself looking back to the clock and found that time had changed very little. By the time the sun would start to rise, he fell asleep only to be woken up a couple of hours later. 

He had very little to eat in the somewhat empty cafeteria. Harley must have been told about last night’s incident and had woken up early just to sit down with him and had breakfast in a comfortable silence. 

The hall was getting more traffic, so they left just as Tatsu and then Pamela sat down with them. They said their parting pleasantries and headed off to Harley’s office, where the Commander sat.

“I’m not doing this.” With some quick words, he cut her off before she could speak.

“Three and a half years should be enough, Flag. Harley has already given me a report. Your body is in good condition, you haven’t had an episode in almost a year, you’re following your schedule to the letter, and now I’ve found you a partner. Why are you fighting this?” Waller was sitting forwards, both hands interlocked and on the table in front of her.

“You can’t possibly think I’ll be able to drift with him can you? It seems to me that he can’t connect with anyone on a neural level.”

“As a matter of fact, I firmly believe that you can. I’ve known Floyd Lawton a long time now, and I’ve known you for just as long. Harley knows you both as well, she thinks you both are ready and I trust her judgment on this.”

“I’ve told you before that I can’t do this!”

“The only thing left that’s holding you back is yourself. She’s cleared you for active return. The two of you are the best chance this operation has at success. You both are the most seasoned pilots that we currently have.”

“Him, maybe. Besides, she’s cleared me physically! We don’t know what’ll happen if I go into the drift. I can’t do this, Commander.”

“You can argue all you want about this, but you’re ready. You’ve gone through enough therapy to put you back on track and you’ve done well on recent psych evaluations. When it comes down to it, you’re still holding yourself back. You can say that it’s your body or that it’s your mind, but it’s still you. You’re doing this, Flag, and I better not hear another word.”

This is a battle Rick should’ve known he wouldn’t win, not with the Commander _ and _Harley against him

A knock was heard and Harley walked to the door. As she opened it, Floyd walked in. He and Harley gave each other a look and then watched as Floyd gave Waller a quick salute. Rick slumped down and rest an arm on his knee and rested his head against said arm.

“You’ll be doing the initial handshake here instead of a very expensive jaeger. It’s simply to test the compatibility between you both. It’s safer and there’s less eyes around.” Harley said.

Rick gave in to the inevitable and looked up at his supposed partner. He saw hesitation reflected back at him.

“Let’s do this, shall we?”


	7. Jagged Handshakes

They were sitting face to face, much to the unease of Rick. Amassing panic and dread was filling him and was starting to pool out, if the look on Floyd’s face was any indication. It was wary and concerned. Rick vaguely heard the countdown that Harley gave. It was quiet and came too fast.

Floyd was having a difficult time trying to remain calm and optimistic about the man in front of him. His once handsome face was contorted and unhappy. He was giving off very stressed vibes. Floyd wasn’t used to being attuned to someone’s mental state, but it was hard to miss the storm in front of him. He thought that Harley’s countdown couldn’t get anymore loud. It was that of a hammer striking an anvil in his ears and it felt like the countdown was slowing down.

Harley pressed the button.

Both felt the drift pull them in. 

Rick had seen moments in Floyd’s life. He saw a young man enlist for the U.S. Air Force. He saw an accomplished pilot, well liked and highly respected. He saw the love he once held with his ex wife. He saw the birth of Zoe. He watched Floyd experience his first drift, his first fight with a kaiju. He witnessed Floyd fight alongside his partner, he saw their arguments. He saw Floyd leave and he saw Zoe give her dad a gentle and soothing hug upon his return. 

Floyd had been assaulted by Rick’s memories. He saw a distant father, a dead mother, a broken family moving base to base. He saw the funeral given to Rick’s father, the flag folding ceremony, and said flag passed to Rick. He saw a friendship with a woman who would become his co-pilot. He saw a battle pass before his eyes so quickly and violently that he couldn’t make out what he was seeing. He felt the drift pull him in opposite directions and felt it shred. He felt cold and empty. 

Rick had seen the fights with the kaiju and felt his own memories take hold. Floyd’s life faded away. Rick could feel himself chasing the rabit. He could remember the feeling of being torn into pieces, the drift tearing him, stretching him, and then it snapped. His mind felt frayed and he felt like he was in hundreds of jagged pieces. He felt June drag him down deeper into the drift and then he felt her pain. The pain of death. He felt like he was standing over a ledge, half of him reaching out to the abyss, hoping something would take hold.

He felt empty, he felt pain, he saw the blue, he saw darkness.

A few minutes had passed and Harley could already tell something was going wrong with the drift. The handshake went through ok, if a little shaky, but soon their connection was losing stability. Rick was chasing a rabit and Floyd was feeling it. He was resisting, but it seems the things he was seeing was making it hard not to follow Rick.

“Get them out now!”

A quick press of a button had them disconnect and wake up. Both ripping the helmets off almost as soon as they came back.

Floyd was shaken, but he whipped around, looking like he wanted to start yelling. However, the words seemed to catch in his throat and die as soon as he saw the appearance of Rick.

Rick was sweaty and shaking like a leaf in a torrent. His eyes were distant but they were moving from one point to another. It was clear to him that the man wasn’t seeing anything in the room, no he must still be coming out of the drift. Soon enough, his skin had turned pallor and he threw up. Harley was right next to the man, rubbing his back, helping calm down and reminding him that he’s in a safe place. Rick came back slowly. 

Floyd saw how much energy had been sucked out of the man on the floor in front of him. Sickly pale skin, dark circles under his eyes, and tired. A tired and weary soul.

Rick got up and stumbled to the door, opened it slowly and left.

The three of them all stood and struggled to find words. 

Waller sit down and fold her hands together. 

“What in the hell was that?” Not even angry anymore, Floyd was so confused by the situation.

“Rick and his co-pilot fought a kaiju, Knifehead, and his partner was killed. He was left to fight it alone. He was stationed out of Stockholm, Sweden and we found him three days later on the shores of the island, Öland. He piloted that jaeger along the coast of the Baltic Sea alone.” It was Harley who answered.

“Good god.” He was still looking down the hallway where the man in question had long since disappeared. He was impressed and terrified. It was dangerous for a single person to pilot a jaeger. It's too much stress on the mind and body. He can't imagine how Rick must've handled everything afterwards.

“He’s gone through a lot.”

“I’d say, but there have been many teams before where only one died. How’s this situation different?”

“That’s a story you’ll have to hear from him. Only he can tell you exactly what you saw in there. He only told us so much, it was an extremely difficult time for him. He was stuck in the hospital for weeks. It was tough trying to convince him to stay.”

He looked back at Waller and understood what she was telling him to do. He gave a salute and left. However, almost clearing the hallway, he realised that he didn’t know where the man would go. He turned around and walked back into Harley’s office. He saw their looks,

“I don’t know his room number.”

“He’ll probably be in the pool. You know where that is right?” Harley had a small smirk on her face and was writing something down on a piece of paper.

A nod.

“I’d go there first and if not, here’s his number. Be gentle to him or I swear…” 

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Thanks.”

He turns and leaves again.

Despite that particular experience, Floyd had actually felt a deep connection to Rick. The shaky handshake was the emotions on both ends messing up the procedure. Knowing what might have set the man off was what made everything go to hell.

Floyd was determined to get to this man. This interesting and deeply hurt man. Something in Floyd wanted to comfort this man, to look in his eyes and not look away. Nevermind that the man was very attractive, his soul had reached out and Floyd’s soul reached back.

If Rick felt the same thing in the midst of that onslaught, he would be okay with Floyd showing up.

As he reached the doors to the pool, Floyd paused and took in a deep breath, hoping that the subject of his determination was inside.

Here goes nothing.


	8. The Cradle

There is a weightlessness, but there is also support. A soft and gentle hand keeping his afloat. A cradle of coolness and clarity. Soothing. Cool. Gentle. Support. Safety.

He could forget everything in the water. His pain, his regret, his anguish, his memories. He always felt he could surrender everything to the water. To let himself be at peace, just for a little while. To be so disarmed and unguarded against the horrors of life.

At first the therapy was for his body, but as time went on, it wasn’t just about the body. He always stayed a little longer after his sessions would end, to close his eyes and forget the world. He always had to lay things bare in the face of Harley and sometimes even Waller. Sure, he didn’t always go into detail, that was too painful to do. Speaking out isn't always a good way to forget, to move on. It always tended to stay with him, haunting him. Floating there, in the pool had been a great way for him to forget, as temporary it is.

Tonight had been a horrible idea. He was left ragged and shaken. That part of him, that part that was left reaching out into an abyssal eternity, it left his head throbbing and his heart aching. When he was connected to Lawton, he felt a soothing balm over those jagged edges of him. He wanted to cry because, finally, the pain was gone. Then his mind had recoiled against that presence, it was the wrong one, it shouldn’t be here. That half had begun to search for its lost one, the one that had torn it so. Then he fell down a very deep rabit hole. 

Once they came back up from the drift, Rick needed to escape, so he did. He basically ran out the door and down the hallway. He ran to the pool and needed to escape.

So he did. 

He closed his eyes and tried to forget the world.

That’s where Floyd found him. Trying to forget the world.

He felt his eyes on him, so he opened his to look back. He couldn’t quite make direct contact, he couldn’t. He was ashamed and guilty. For losing control. For making the man experience his pain. 

Rick closed his eyes again and submerged himself.

Floyd saw the man sink into the water, as if willing himself to disappear into the water.

Tough, it’s only 10ft deep.

Shaking his head, Floyd took his boots and socks off. He took off his shirt to reveal a tank top. He looked down at his pants, which he now just remembered were the pants he fell asleep in. A waste of a good pair of sweatpants, but they can be washed. Besides, he had no time to think about something like that, his only priority was sitting at the bottom of the pool, seemingly set on staying there even if it killed him.

Floyd climbed in and swam to Rick, who was curled up like a scared and sad child. Arms wrapped tightly around his knees, head bowed and buried within.

A hand reached out to grab Rick’s shoulder. 

There was a flinch.

Rick slowly raised his head to finally look into Floyd’s eyes. His shoulders fell in defeat.

No use hiding anymore, now was there.

Both men lunged upward, using the base of the pool as a springboard. Both men ascended and rose above the surface of the water. Floyd was looking at the man in front of him while Rick was having a hard time looking at him again.

Floyd reached his hand out again, fingers hardly touching Rick’s cheek, gentle turning his head to face him. The eyes were still averted, looking everywhere but Floyd.

“Want to tell me?”

Rick sucked in a slow breath, held it, and shook his head,

“I’d really prefer not to.”

“What do you want?” Floyd kept a small and quiet voice. 

“I want to be left alone.” Was the answer. Floyd had to huff out a laugh.

“I think that’s going to be hard for you. For either of us, now.”

That got him the eye contact he needed.

Tortured green-brown eyes. Tired. Hurt.

“I just...want to forget right now. We can...talk. Later.” A shrug of his shoulders and he was looking away again.

Floyd really, really wanted to know what was going on in his head, but he couldn’t force a story like that. A partnership can’t be like that. 

“Ok. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Floyd got out of the water and grabbed his stuff and left. Leaving Rick alone. Now in more ways than one. That part of him was reaching out.

Wait. Come back. Safety. Soothing. 

Rick closed his eyes and waited to be cradled by the water.

Floyd had made it back to his room, dripping wet and absolutely ready for a hot shower and a warm bed. It had been a long day and he was glad that it was done. He was glad that his new partner didn’t reject him completely and he was worried about the next time they would be asked to drift again.

Though, Floyd had a feeling that wouldn’t happen until Harley approved it. Forget Waller. Nothing happened without Harley giving a confirmation. Even the commander trusted her judgment.

No one could’ve predicted that this would happen. They were probably going to have to go through some rigorous training together. To bond to one another and to understand each other. It was going to take time. Time that they couldn’t afford to give. Floyd had a feeling that might be a reason why Rick didn’t fight anything for longer than necessary. 

Oh well. Deep thoughts about the future are something for tomorrow.

Just after his shower, he knocked lightly on Zoe’s door. Hearing nothing, he slowly opened the door. He saw her sleeping contently, blankets bundling her up like a little burrito.

He smiles, feeling his soul calm. He silently whispers a ‘good night’ to her and then closed the door.


	9. Santana

It was a quiet morning, which was a surprise but a welcome one. Alma and Adolfo were still asleep, curled up between Chato and Grace. The kids didn’t take the quick move to the Shatterdome very hard, though they got homesick very quickly. He’d tried to explain everything, but Grace always had a way to say things better, so he let her calm them down. At first, they were to be the only kids found on the base, but he was told by Tatsu that one candidate was traveling with his daughter. The two were ecstatic at the news. Chato found himself able to breathe a little better, hoping that the pilot’s daughter would be able to hangout and look out for his two little troublemakers. 

At the compatibility test, Chato wasn’t too worried about who he’d be paired up with. His wife and him had gone through so much together. They had their fair share of ups and downs, but all the better for it. You can’t hide things from your partner in the drift, and both felt, early on in the relationship, that truth was the most important part. It was what kept them together. Neither had to worry about a partner that couldn’t control themselves and chase the rabit.

They stayed behind for a while to see the other fights. They watched as Tatsu and a brutish and rugged Australian name, George were teamed up. He found that a weird pairing, but in a way it made sense. They were the definition of polar opposites. Tatsu, quiet and calculating. George, loud and very quick with the lip, no brain-to-mouth filter. They balanced each other. He gave her a smile and a nod as they were announced compatible.

Then, he watched a man fight a long fight. He’d never seen someone have to fight so many people to try and find a match. He felt a whole lot of pity for the man. He felt bad, for all the looks that he received as he walked out. He looked bone-dead tired.

At dinner, he saw the name, Floyd Lawton, eat sluggishly at a table with his daughter and some others, one of which included the psychologist and Tatsu. They all looked uneasy and concerned. His focus was taken away by a group at a table next to his,

“Looks like he really bombed that test! How can you possibly do something like that?” One man said, looking uncertain.

“Dunno, but man, that was brutal. The look on the fucker’s face. Probably doesn’t want to show it anywhere on this base.” This one was a bully type. One that had too much ego and thought himself above everyone else. A despicable type of person.

“Come on man. That guy fought harder than anyone else and for longer than anyone else.”

“Yeah! I heard some of the fighters talking, how a lot of them felt the connection, but apparently that guy didn’t. They felt the connection for a brief moment but then it was gone.”

“Must be hard for him to be compatible with anyone.”

The conversation went on. Most admiring Floyd for his tenacity and strength. They talked about how they heard through the grapevine that Floyd was a jaeger veteran. That surprised not only them, but Chato himself. He really didn’t look like a veteran pilot, just someone who can really fight.

Chato felt compelled to search up on the man. He was curious what kind of person Floyd Lawton is.

The next day, his children race each other to the cafeteria. Grace giving a warm smile as they walk hand-in-hand to the tables. He gave a wave to Tatsu, who he spotted at a now regular table. She gave a smile and waved back. The kids saw and each gave their own enthusiastic wave. Both arms up and waving fast. Her smile widened as she saw them. He saw Pamela Isley there, along with a girl, probably Lawton’s daughter, but not Floyd himself.

It wasn’t until breakfast was almost over that he saw the man walking in. At least he wasn’t the only one, others had been filing in since breakfast began. Not completely unusual, given how yesterday was.

At the end of breakfast, Chato waited until Tatsu offered Floyd’s daughter a tour, he needed someone to watch over Alma and Adolfo while he and Grace were training. Tatsu and her partner didn’t mind, nor did the girl, Zoe. She grabbed his kids’ hands and they all walked off together as a group.

Grace walked up next to him and together they headed off to the training rooms.

They got there and were paired off with a trainer, Waylon Jones. A big man, broad shouldered, dark skinned. At first, he was intimidating and standoffish, but as soon as they got into a conversation, the man had a very charming smile. His instructions were concise and were given firmly, though not harshly. He gave tips and always helped them find ways to fix things in their training. As they traded stories, he told them that he worked part time in the engineering department.

“I’m impressed you find time to do both!” A sentiment shared by both of them.

“Kind of have to. Funding was cut, and people needed to double up on jobs. Engineering was an easy pick. Was always good at it, so why not put that to use. Besides, we don’t have to spend every moment on those jaegers. Only when the fighting is finished. We can’t know if something’s wrong until they give ‘em a run.”

“Makes sense. So how come a trainer?” 

“I was actually asked to do it by a friend, a trainer himself. Name’s Rick. He’s been with the program for a long time. Didn’t really have more to do, so I said yes. I’m glad I said yes. I’ve learned as much from you guys as you do from me.”

Eventually, just as everyone was about to pass out, dinner had rolled around. They were given time to wash up and head over to the cafeteria.

Alma and Adolfo were with Zoe and Tatsu. At the table was also George and Pamela. Grace led him over to the table and on the way, they passed Waylon and invited him over.

It was a lively table. At the end of the night, they were all laughing and sharing stories, stories from before the kaiju. Graced had thanked both Tatsu and Zoe for taking care of the children for them. Zoe had been thankful for company closer to her age. His children were especially happy for Zoe’s company. She seemed very patient and friendly.

“Where’s your dad?” Chato hadn’t seen the man since this morning.

“He didn’t say. He just got a message and said he had to be off.”

“Well, I hope he got enough sleep. He did a good job yesterday.”

She smiled brightly, proud of her dad after hearing those words. 

She loved her father dearly, but in the five years after leaving the jaeger program, she noticed that he missed it. Like there was something missing in his life. The first day they got here, she had already noticed a difference in him. Like he had a purpose again. She always felt that he was made for this. He was a fighter and always wanted the best for her, and what better way to do that than fighting the threat to everyone’s future.

“I know!”

She wanted everyone to know that her dad was the best and that she was proud of him.

Chato had been happy to see a child so inspired and proud of her father. He hoped that one day his own children looked at him and their mother like that. To look at them like heroes that saved the world. Not many children could claim such a thing. 

Though the world had to be saved first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't find anything on the names of Chato's children, so I did my best with the names.  
As far as I know, Alma means 'soul' and Adolfo means 'noble wolf'.  
But can we please take a moment to really realize how good looking the cast of the movie is. Take away their prosthetics of course.  
I'm doing my best with dialogue(it's not my strong suit) and the characterizations of everyone.


	10. Little Talks

It was their first time together after the botched session in Harley’s office. They had a set schedule laid out for them, to get them to bond as quickly as physically and mentally possible. Eating meals together, training together, spending pretty much all downtime together. For the less sociable Rick Flag, he wasn’t too happy to be suddenly paired with another. For Floyd Lawton, he didn’t mind in the least to be with Rick. 

They first started the day in the cafeteria with their now normal group and when Floyd had introduced Rick to his daughter there was a moment afterwards that gave Zoe enough time to give her dad a look. A look he tried hard to ignore. He knew that she knew of his attraction to the man, but he didn’t let it get in the way. Floyd found a lot of people attractive. He could appreciate the man’s good looks, it didn’t mean anything beyond that.

After their departure from Zoe, they followed Harley to her office. Upon their arrival they were each given a detailed schedule. After thoroughly discussing said plan she told them to start simple. Introduce themselves properly. 

It was indeed simple. They gave each other their names, names of their parents, where they grew up, where they went to school. Basically give their entire life stories to each other. Certain things were glossed over and entirely skipped over in the interest of time.

Floyd learned that Rick was in fact Swedish. Born and raised in Stockholm. His father was a German-American with dual citizenship and his mother was Swedish. His dad was in the Army and met his mother by chance. After getting married and having a child, they moved around from base to base. Floyd found out that after his father’s death, he and his mother moved back to Sweden. They were there when the kaiju first appeared. When he grew up, Rick decided to join the Jaeger Program, since he had no one left at home since his mother's untimely death.

At this point, Rick got less descriptive as he talked about his previous partner and their fated fight with the Knifehead kaiju. 

“What did you name your jaeger?” was the question Floyd set forth. The question seemed to surprise Rick. He was probably waiting for him to ask about his partner’s death. About the session they first had together. Rick didn’t appear to hate being asked the question. In fact, he seemed appreciative, if the small smile on his face was anything to go by.

“Our jaeger was named, The June Fire.”

“The June Fire? That’s the first time I’ve heard a name like that given to a jaeger!” Floyd laughed out. It seemed infectious because Rick couldn’t help but give a gentle laugh as well,

“Heh, it’s actually a...ugh...an inside joke. I knew her since we were kids, after moving back to Sweden. A group of us decided to go down to the beach and have a bonfire, just...hanging out you know? It was the last year of school and we thought it’d be fun to celebrate. She...ugh, she- part of her shirt ended up catching fire. I might have panicked. I ended up picking her up and threw her in the water. To put the fire out.” Rick, it seemed, was having a hard time keeping a straight face while retelling his story. He struggled not to bust out laughing. There was a moment of silence before Floyd himself started cackling.

They ended up laughing so hard that Floyd had to start taking very deep breaths in between bouts of laughter.

“That’s certainly memorable. I bet they never let you live it down.”

“Haha, no. No they didn’t. She ended up pushing me into the water before walking away. She definitely wasn’t happy with me the next day. It took me a bit to convince her to forgive me. In the end, we ended up getting paired up as a jaeger team and she was the one to name it. She let me know, at every moment she could that she’d never forget that day.”

“A woman after my own heart. At least she had a sense of humor.” Floyd could only imagine how famously they’d get along, unfortunately that would never happen. Rick noticed how he said that, 

“Yeah. Had. I think you guys would’ve gotten along. Probably too well. You guys would probably constantly make fun of me.”

“Not like it’s hard.”

“Case in point.”

Rick had learned of Floyd’s upbringing. A very clever dad who always taught his son how to fix things. A very do-it-yourself dad. Floyd’s mother was very caring, but also strict. He graduated school in the top end of his class. Floyd told Rick that his parents were very supportive of his decision to enlist in the Warrant Officer Flight Training program. He passed and was accepted. He was mostly on unmanned aerial vehicle operations. He ended up getting recommended to transfer to the Jaeger Program once the world realized that the kaiju were going to be a constant threat. Floyd made sure his parents knew of the change. They were worried, of course, but supported him nonetheless.

Floyd talked of his former partner, his leave of the program, the death of said partner. Of his ex-wife, of his daughter, and of his return to the program.

Afterwards, they headed off to the training rooms. They practiced different styles of boxing and mixed martial arts and more traditional martial arts katas. They trained with different weapons as well, from a staff to a sword to standard gunfire. The use of guns was something Floyd was proficient at. Everyone at the shooting range was in awe of the precision and accuracy he displayed. Rick was an accomplished fighter and was a talented individual. He showed how good he was at the use of different weapons. He could use any given weapon and showed how controlled he was at using them. 

At the end of their scheduled time in the training rooms, they did a few quick laps of running and then headed off to the cafeteria. They met up with their group then had about two hours to themselves before they were to report back to Harley.

They would do some light sessions in the drift to reintroduce themselves to the feel of it. To retrain their minds to resist the random access brain impulse triggers. R.A.B.I.T. as it’s called. They would take the dives, take a few minutes to embrace the silence and empty their minds of thought before they would be brought back. They would repeat the process a few times before they would increase the time they would stay in the drift. 

More often than not, it was Rick’s mind trying to chase the rabbit. It happened enough that Floyd started to notice and learn the signs of Rick’s eventual fall down the rabbit hole. Soon enough they were able to pull Rick and Floyd out before Rick brought them both down. They didn’t need a repeat of the first time they drifted. At least not yet. They needed to establish a bond first before they tested the strength of said bond. That would come later.

The time passed by fast enough that dinnertime caught them by surprise. It was a welcomed reprieve. By the end of their session, the two were getting tired, hungry, and a little testy. Harley let them go before things could go wrong. She told them to eat and then go to bed as soon as they could. 

They both trudged out of her office and down the series of hallways before making it to the mess hall. They got in line and got their food, and sat down at their table. The others of the group noticed their mood and their dwindling energy. The rest of the night went on quiet and comfortably enough.

Soon, they went their separate ways and bid each other a good night. Floyd had immediately flopped onto his bed and was dead to the world in a matter of minutes. It was a similar situation for Rick who had, for the first time in a while, slept through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter i wrote a long while after uploading chapter 19. I realized there was something missing from this story and that was the connection between Rick and Floyd. I felt that i was forcing the pairing with basically nothing. I hadn't described much interactions between them, so here's one of a few chapters to be uploaded after chapter 19(Sundered Seas and Their Despairs).  
Hope you like it.


	11. So Let Me Disarm You

Rick had woken up to a loud knocking on his door. He had previously been sleeping on his arm, which was trapped underneath his chest. His other arm was dangling off the side of his bed. He shot up, confused. Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he shuffled his way towards the noise. He opened the door.

Floyd had to quickly muscle down the laughter that was rising. He did his best to not show it either. 

A bed headed Rick had stood before him, looking well and truly confused. Eyes were squinty and Floyd saw Rick shaking his hand.

“Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” Floyd couldn’t keep fighting the smile that finally burst out.

“W-what?”

“Breakfast. If you know what that means.”

“I know what it means!”

“Well, hurry up then.”

“Why are you here?”

“I told you that we’re probably going to be stuck with each other. I was told to get you. Someone, totally not Harley, told me that you don’t eat in the morning, so here I am. Now, let’s go.”

Rick had given his partner a very deadpan look. He grabbed some shoes and shouldered past the man, who was still trying not to laugh at him.

By the time they reached the tables, Rick still hadn’t put on his shoes. He made for a very amusing picture. He had approached a coffee machine and grabbed two cups. Floyd had already been sitting down when his co-pilot approached. Very slowly. Begrudgingly. 

Rick had spotted Waylon at the table and moved to sit next to him. Waylon looked up to him, an amused smile on his face,

“Well, look who showed up to interact like a normal human being!”

“Fight me.” 

Laughter filled across the table. Rick had sighed, gulped down some coffee and rested his head on the table, hoping to expire soon so he didn’t have to talk to people.

At some point, Rick felt eyes on him, he lifted his head slightly and saw that Harley was giving him a pointed look.

‘Get food’ the look said.

He dropped his head to the table again, and looked to the buffet. Sighing, he got up slowly and got some food.

If some toast and a couple of cubed fruit counted.

She didn’t look particularly happy at his choice, but it wasn’t like he was going to eat any more. It’d be a waste of food if he put more on his plate.

Others had noticed the interaction and did their best not to stare as Rick was cowed into eating. Floyd felt concerned while others like Chato, Grace, and George were curious. Waylon had noticed the interest and said to them,

"This is Rick, guy I told you about. He's an absolute bum in the morning, but he knows his stuff. Rick, these are one of the jaeger teams I'm helping out." Rick had looked up from his food as they were introduced. He reached across the table to shake hands with the Santana family.

After breakfast, Zoe with the two kids headed off to the common rooms to play some board games, while everyone else headed to the training rooms. On the way there, many were curious as to how Rick would hold up against Floyd. Floyd hadn’t seen the man fight hand-to-hand yet, he'd only seen Rick practice katas, so he was nervous.

They found out, quickly, how well of a fighter Rick was. 

Each were given a bo staff and they stood on opposite sides of the mat. They dropped to a stance, shifting, adjusting to each other, waiting, and striking.

Quick. Controlled. Simple. Calculated. Like playing a game of chess.

For every strike Floyd won, it seemed that Rick won three others. 

The stilled moment was over, they fought. A fury of strikes and blocks. Unrelenting in their execution. It was a dance of back and forth. Pushing each other to one side of the mat to the other, trying to get the other to yield. 

Floyd came at Rick, staff in front, poised to stab him at the chest. Rick took a slight step to the side, grabbing Floyd’s arm with his left and sunk to his knees. He swung out his leg to bring down his opponent. He twisted as Floyd fell, something Floyd himself was doing as to avoid falling on his face. He twisted around to block Rick’s attack, but soon found Rick on top of him, one knee on his chest while the other was rooted to the mat. Rick had put his weight on Floyd and his staff across his throat.

Their eyes were locked onto each other. 

Yield.

Floyd had seen more in Rick’s eyes than any person before. He knew without a doubt that this man was his. His partner. His co-pilot. His other half.

It was a different feeling than with Christopher. His fighting years with Chris was a camaraderie. Steady. They were good friends, a friendship that Floyd, for all its ups and downs, would never forget or regret. Theirs was a friendship that was comfortable, like wearing your favorite shirt.

What he felt with Rick was overwhelming. Overflowing. Almost overbearing. It was a well of emotions that he couldn’t quite process in the moment. When they had connected, it felt like relief. Like finishing a puzzle. Pieces finally fitting together. He just knew that they belonged together. Surely the man straddled on top of him, with his weapon still frozen at his neck, felt the same. 

He hoped so.

He yielded, letting go of his staff, arms raised to show his defeat.

There was clapping from the others as Rick got off and offered Floyd a hand up. Floyd couldn’t help the laughter that was bubbling up. His hand still clasped in Rick’s. He shook the hand.

“Not bad, Flag.”

The smile he was given was shy and small. It was a small lift of one side of his mouth.

“Not bad yourself, Lawton. I have to give you credit for staying in fighting shape in the years away from the program.”

“I aim to please!” 

Rick rolled his eyes and let go of the man’s hand.

For the next two hours, everyone was put through rigorous training. Building up endurance more so than building up muscle. 

Soon, they broke for lunch. 

The mood was livelier than that morning. Rick was talking amongst the others and eating just as much as the person next to him.

Harley had a look of such profound proudness as she saw them all talking, as she saw a light shine through her patient.

The real test now was the drift. 

Rick’s mind was volatile and unsteady.

For this to work, they would have to sift through the trauma in his mind. To acknowledge it and accept it and then let it go. 

That was what was hardest about their therapy sessions. For Rick to let go of the past. He tended to take responsibility for all things. Every mistake, every failure, all the pain and he would turn them inward. 

A part of him didn’t believe he deserves forgiveness, the part of him that doesn’t want it. Like he deserves the pain and the suffering that went along with the memories. There was a part of him that relived that fateful night over and over, wanting to feel the agony, because that part believes that Rick should constantly live with the pain.

Harley and their friends all hoped that Floyd would somehow free Rick, that someone would finally help Rick move on. However, for that to work, they needed to delve into the drift. Last time had been extremely taxing on both men. 

For them to make a proper jaeger team, they had to push through.

And that’s what they planned to do.

Floyd and Rick were in Harley’s office again, hooked up and listening to the countdown.

10

9

Rick had inhaled deeply, waiting in apprehension.

8

Floyd had stolen a glance at the man, worried.

7

6

5

4

Their eyes met.

3

Floyd gave his partner a nod, hoping to convey support.

2

Rick gave a shaky one back.

1

“Initiating neural handshake”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a late update. I've been busy with work and doing some art projects. I'm doing my best to keep up with Inktober, but I've already fallen behind. I just have too many projects to do, all stacked onto one another.  
oh well, here you go.  
Also, the chapter titles is lyrics from the song, Disarm You by Kaskade. It's a beautiful song, I listen to the Illenium remix. I think it fits well to how Floyd is trying to approach Rick.


	12. My Bones, They Shook

They let the images of memories wash over them like rain. Those moments weren’t the problem, there was no reason to pick up the memory and examine it.

They came together in the blue silence. The calm abyss. The calm before the storm.

There was no need for words here. They both knew what needed to happen. 

So, Rick took them down the rabit hole. 

It had been a day of disquiet. A heavy feeling had hung over Rick the whole day, a feeling both he and June shared. Stifling and palpable. However, he felt something off about June. She was quiet and distant. Eyes so dark and far away. She wasn’t really there with him, not really. Looking back, he’d noticed that she had been quiet for several days now. Getting worse with each passing of the sun. 

However, Rick couldn’t talk to her now. They had no time.

Category III - Knifehead.

They suited up and prepared for the big drop.

They went into the drift. It wasn’t silent. It was like standing outside on a windy day. It was enough to set Rick on edge. June didn’t say anything, she didn’t think anything. She just walked and Rick followed. Soon, they were running.

They ended up away from the shores of Stockholm. Fighting hard again Knifehead.

They were getting weaker and Knifehead kept its attacks strong and unrelenting. It clawed and bit and torn away at the jaeger’s armour. June was chasing and then falling.

Down.

Deep. 

Deeper. 

Way past the drift.

An undiscovered place. Terrifying.

And she was dragging him down with her. 

Determined not to let go.

He could hear her screaming in and out of the drift.

There was a missing piece of the hull. 

They kaiju had taken a chunk out, taking June with it. It had her in its mouth, slowly crushing her to death with the metal. 

He could feel all the pain. Her body shattering. Her bones breaking inward and destroy her from the inside. He could feel shards of bone stab into her heart, her lungs. He could feel the pressure on his own body. He could feel the weight of metal pressing and pressing on his skull. 

She still wasn’t letting go of him. 

He tried to pull away from her, to shock himself out of the drift. He could feel everything tilt to the side. He could feel cold water at his ankles. 

They had listed into the sea and the conn pod was filling up with water. He could see the kaiju coming around again to attack. He struggled harder to tear away from June. She was still alive. Broken and drifting down into the sea. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. He was yelling at himself. 

Move damn it.

Move.

MOVE

MOVENOW

HAVETOMOVE

GET UP

He felt fire travel across his body. Sharp and quick and repetitive. Up and down his shaking body.

He struggled to stay afloat in the drift.

He felt he had no control over his shaking arm as it lifted to activate the plasma cannons.

He was too late.

Knifehead had grabbed the arm and tore it from the body of the jaeger. Flinging it far away from them. Rick could see it sink. Sink like June. June with her kind eyes and easy smiles. June who was finally giving into the deep blue sea.

As he swung his arm around and aimed at Knifehead, he activated the cannons and could almost feel it burn through the kaiju’s chest. As he fired again, he could feel the violent snap of his connection with June as the bond broke apart. As it was shredded, torn, cut, unravel. 

It didn’t snap back to him as it should have. It had been stretched too far and now it didn’t want to come back. It reached out for June. Reaching and reaching and reaching. Drawing out his mind too far for comfort.

He hadn’t stopped firing at the beast which was slipping into the sea, leaving kaiju blue to rise to the water’s surface. 

He stopped. He froze. 

He could feel the ebb and flow of the sea. Waves crashing into the side of the jaeger.

He had to get to shore.

Where was the shore. Where. Where. Where is it. Where.

He stopped thinking. He couldn’t feel his body. He could only feel the drift, raging in the heart of him. 

He was walking. Stumbling. 

Finally, a skeleton of a jaeger had fallen upon the sands of some village on the island of Öland. Out walked a man. Bleeding and burned.

People had gathered around to catch him, should he fall. However, he kept walking. Mind blank. Eyes unseeing.

People were calling the paramedics. Others were trying to grab his attention, others stood in shock.

He stumbled and fell into the sand. Sounds that were absent before were now making themselves known. He could see flashing lights and people. Eventually he drifted into sleep.

Floyd and Rick were suddenly awake. The drift fell away. Harley came into view, eyes concerned.

“That’s enough today. I think you both should go to the pool and swim a bit. It’ll help you relax.”

It was a quiet dismissal. Kind in its giving and well appreciated in its reception. 

Floyd had gotten up and walked over to Rick. He put a gentle hand on the man’s shoulder, urging him up off the chair. Together they walked out the door and through the hallway. Together they made their way to the pool.

No words were spoken as of yet. Floyd was unsure if his company would be appreciated in this moment. Though, a part of him was telling him to stay. Stay with this man. He’s too hurt. He needs someone. He needs you. 

He hesitated for a moment as Rick waded into the pool. He saw Rick give a glance over to him. His eyes were lowered, afraid of looking too closely at Floyd.

Floyd saw it for what it was. Acceptance. It was a look that said that Rick could use his company. He smiled and followed his partner in. As he stepped into the pool, he'd gotten a glimpse of scars racing across Rick's back and shoulders. He couldn't see them very well, neither of them had turned on the lights for the room. The only light was the pool lights, shining dimly through the water.

It was just them, floating on the water. Letting the tension go, letting the stress go. 

“You good?” Floyd had asked after a long while. He watched Rick for a moment and saw his eyes open slowly.

“I’m good. You?” 

“I’m not going to lie and say everything’s peaches and rainbows, but I’m better than one would think.”

There was a long pause. They were both unsure on how to approach the colossal elephant in the room, so Floyd quickly spouted, 

“Well, it’s dinner time and I, for one, am famished!”

He fled the pool with Rick following.

It was a quick affair, getting changed and heading off to the cafeteria. After the brief respite, both men could feel exhaustion creeping up on them. All energy spent and there was nothing left to keep conversations afloat. They all ate in a comfortable silence and soon they said their goodbyes.

Floyd was waiting for Zoe, who was being thanked for watching out for the Santana children. While he was waiting, he quickly said to Rick, 

“Hey man, this is new for the both of us, but if you keep having trouble sleeping, just...you...I want you to know that I’m here if you need me.”

“Um, thanks.”

“G’night.”

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title inspired by lyrics to Same Old Things by Black Match.


	13. Exalted

A sharp and loud noise pierced the veil of sleep. It shocked Floyd into wakefulness, thoroughly confused for an embarrassing few minutes had anyone witnessed the moment. It had been a long time since he’d been woken up by that sound. A sound he really never wanted to hear again.

There was a kaiju.

It was a matter of time before they showed their ugly faces. Floyd had gotten comfortable with the calm over the past week. Something like that was a bad habit. Complacency and contentment in this business gets people hurt, it gets them killed. They couldn’t afford that.

After berating himself, he hauled himself off the bed and over to his tablet.

Category IV - Mutavore

The first of its category.

There was a live feed. 

Floyd bolted out the door and ran to the cafeteria and its big tv. As he came barreling down the hall, he found he wasn’t alone. Others were transfixed to the video, devastated. 

The video was shaky and the news reporter’s voice was just the same. She sounded like she was on the verge of tears and he couldn’t blame her.

“...the Kaiju, an enormous category four, broke through the Coastal Wall in less than an hour!”

They all watched as the monster tore its way through the wall and destroyed the Sydney Opera House. They could hear from the video as hundreds were crying out, screaming in horror and fear. They saw from the video as people ran away and they saw as a few people stood, so shocked they couldn’t move. One person had even fallen to their knees, crying into their hands.

Floyd looked around, trying to find Tatsu and her partner. He couldn’t find them in the mass of bodies around him. He couldn’t understand for a moment. He didn’t know why they weren’t here. Why couldn’t he remember?

Where are they?

He looked back to see am emblem of light cut through the water and come upon the kaiju. He could feel himself breathe along with the person who had been filming the whole thing.

He saw Tatsu and Harkness.

Exalted Pike

The first and only Mark-5 Jaeger before the closure of the Jaeger Program. Currently, she was the fastest and strongest of the remaining Jaegers. A testament to human engineering and to the strength of will jaeger pilots had.

They watched as Exalted Pike attacked Mutavore in an unrelenting force. They watched her swing uppercut after uppercut, she pushed the kaiju back, forcing it to tumble. It was a critical moment and one not wasted. Exalted Pike burned several missiles through its chest, finally killing it.

It tumbles down and down and falls to the earth, Exalted Pike standing victorious above it.

Floyd found himself walking away, not needing to listen to them interview the pilots. As he turned towards the hallway, he saw Zoe. She was wearing fuzzy pants and a long-sleeved shirt. She looked tired, but awake. He couldn’t quite decipher the look on her face. She walked up to him and hugged him around his stomach.

“They’re ok.” He felt that she should hear it, even though she already knew it. Zoe made friends everywhere she went, so it was no surprise to him that she and Tatsu hit it off.

“They’ll be back in later tonight.”

Tonight. No. Tomorrow. No, wait…

He looked to his watch, slightly upset at the time.

3:27 am

He could feel Zoe laugh at him. 

“They’ll be back later, I know.”

He patted her on the back, 

“Well, let’s get back to bed.”

“Dad, I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

“Hmm...Let’s go...find Rick.” Floyd dragged out, unsure of what to do at this time of day, night, morning. If the alarm woke everyone else up, Rick is sure to be awake. They go off to find said man. They go straight to his room.

Floyd knocks on the door, the sound making a slight metallic echo. He steps back and waits for a reply. Nothing. He knocks again and heard a muffled voice call back, 

“Yeah, yeah, I heard the first time.”

Floyd felt slightly impatient. He was, to his surprise, nervous. He was still getting to know the man, but felt an indisputable connection to him. He was more nervous because he didn’t know how Rick felt about children. Although, if the man didn’t like Zoe, Floyd wouldn’t be afraid to fight him over it. 

The door opened with a dull, hollow sort of metallic sound. A sleep-addled man appears in the crack of the door with a face of dry disapproval, 

“Why are you here? I’m trying to sleep.”

“That did not go without notice.” Maybe trying to be funny this early in the morning, to a man that tired, wasn’t the best approach, but anything else wouldn’t be Floyd. 

Rick had given him a reply in the form of a sigh.

“Come on, Zoe and I can’t fall asleep, so let’s all go do something!”

Rick had looked down, just now noticing Zoe. He had looked between the two of them, both wearing the same face of hopeful expectation. There was absolutely no way someone could mistake her for someone else’s daughter. Despite not knowing what the mother looked like, the girl in front of him definitely took after Floyd. The same warm chocolate eyes, the same smile, and same devious look. They looked at him, doe-eyed and hopeful. As soon as he sighed again, they both had glint in their eyes. Victory. They were way too happy with themselves.

He turned around and grabbed a sweatshirt. He walked back to the Lawton family and gestured for them to lead on. The Lawton's knew that they had him wrapped around their finger.

They ended up going for a walk around the building, ending up on the helipad. The early morning had been wet and there was a slight chill in the air. Floyd was grumbling something about how there’s always rain. He joked about how the universe was probably messing with him by constantly sending rain after him. 

The morning walk was relaxing though. They all talked about easy subjects, most of them were things Rick had asked to Zoe. The three of them ended up staying outside, huddled together, and watching the water of the bay wash against the shore. They stayed together to watch the sun barely peek over the horizon, storm clouds hiding most of the warm rays.

Soon enough, they went back inside and walked to the cafeteria. Only the cooks and a few personnel were in attendance. 

They grabbed some food and went to their normal table. 

They ended up staying together long enough for Tatsu and George to get back. They all took comfort in each others’ company. It left Floyd hopeful for the future. Zoe and Rick got along, Rick actually seemed interested in what she had to say. He always appeared grumpy and tired but Floyd was astonished at the change.

It had been a morning, special in its passing.


	14. A Moment of Silence

Floyd was easily surprised as much as the next guy, but there’s always something that really catches you off guard. This morning had been filled with...emotions, and it wasn’t done yet.

“Really?!”

A snort and a barely restrained smirk was sent back at him by both of them.

“Yeah. If you watched the rest of the footage, you’d have seen that George was the only one interviewed.”

“I still can’t believe that you two have been fighting for three years now. I thought you both just became a team? I saw you at the fights.”

“It’s not like we actively kept the secret from you all. Everyone thought we just paired up and we just rolled with it. There was no need to tell them differently.”

Floyd turned on Rick, pointing a finger at him in a sharp and quick motion, 

“You couldn’t have told me?” 

The man looked at his accusing finger and gave him a face that said, ‘I am offended.’

Rick had to move his head back a little, that finger was too close to his face. He looked at the finger, unamused. He took a moment to prolong the focus, to let Floyd know that he wasn’t happy with his finger in his personal space. Rick then dragged his eyes slowly upwards to stare into Floyd’s. 

“Honestly dad, I’m surprised you didn’t catch on.”

Rick really liked Zoe. Even if she didn’t know it, she saved him from trying to figure out what to say to the man in front of them.

Floyd was left stammering for a few seconds before sliding his hand through the air to land in front of Tatsu,

“Look. I- you. I’ve been betrayed by my partner and my daughter. You’ve turned them against me.”

Everyone present took time to roll their eyes at Floyd’s antics. It was amusing, from an outside perspective, to see Floyd shift his accusing finger from person to person.

“If they are so easily swayed, then I should have done such a thing sooner.” 

A teasing smile crossed her face. A smile that told him that she’s going to enjoy making fun of him in the future. A small part of him is already dreading what she’s already committed to memory, to hold over him, to blackmail him. He then, very immediately, remembered that Tatsu and Quinn talk a lot. Harley Quinn was a trove of humiliating moments. Floyd Lawton’s Most Embarrassing Hits.

It was all in good fun however. He’ll get her back somehow. He’d have to talk either Quinn herself or Harkness. One was more preferred than the other.

A sharp and quickly fleeting pain brought him back to Earth. Rick had swung one of his arms downwards, swatting Floyd’s still-pointing hand out from the air, 

“Put that away. You’re going to poke someone’s eye out if you keep waving it around like that.”

A repetitive beeping sounded, echoing between them all. It was a notification for them to meet up for training. Quickly getting up, they all put their dishes aside for the staff to pick up and clean. They parted ways with Zoe and then eventually said goodbye to Harley.

The day had been like many others. Things were getting easier, not just the physical training, but when Rick and Floyd drifted together. Still shaky but well on the way for a solid bond.

On the way out of training halls, they pass through the science department. Inside was Waller and Pamela. Arguing. As close as either woman could get. They stepped into the doorway, watching the scientist speak to Waller. 

“In eight days, we could be seeing a kaiju every eight hours until they are coming every four minutes. Commander, we should witness a double event within eleven days.”

“I need more than a prediction.”

“I wouldn’t want to go on that limited amount of information,” some background whitecoat chimed in quietly, mostly to talk to the person next to him.

Floyd noticed the raised eyebrows that Rick gave to the unfolding situation. The whitecoat obviously said the wrong thing, if his partner’s reaction was to go off of.

“Then please, tell us all a better plan. Give me a prediction better than mine.” Pamela had turned sharply over to the man. Arms crossed in front of her. She waited for a reply. She had given him enough of a moment to reply. 

It was almost like answering a test. A thin line with a blank space above it. The silence was like a person, hovering their pen above the line, unsure of what to write.

The whitecoat had nothing.

“That’s what I thought. You’re not wrong though. I can’t give you more than just a prediction, Commander. There’s still so much we don’t know about the kaiju. With any luck, we’ll get those samples from Sydney within the next day or two.”

“Carry on Ms. Isley. I’ll see you with a report when you do get the samples.”

“Commander.”

As Commander Waller turned, she locked eyes with Rick and Floyd. She strode purposefully to the door and without breaking her pace she called to them,

“And I hope to see Quinn’s report on today’s session by the end of evening meal. If everything’s up to my standards then you two will try the real thing tomorrow.”

“Commander.” They both replied, voices low and subdued. A weight settling in their chests.

“Was there something you boys needed?”

Startled, they looked to the speaker. They both noticed that everyone left in the room was looking at them. Pamela looked like she was at the end of her patience.

“No. Sorry to intrude, we’ll take our leave.” Rick responded with a pointed answer. Best not to waste her time by having to wait for an answer. 

Pamela nodded and watched them leave. She gave an exasperated sigh and turned around, needing to get back to work.

Rick and Floyd were walking, shoulder to shoulder, down the hall. Their footsteps echoing as they went. There was silence between them. Just a moment of silence and then they looked to each other. They stopped and then turned around. A clear destination in their minds.

The training rooms. Time to get back to work.

They switched between katas, offensive and defensive. They fought each other with weapons and without. They fought dirty and they fought hard. They pushed each other down and they lifted each other up.

Like the waves of the ocean, pushing and pulling. Rolling and roaring. There was a storm coming and they had to be ready for it. There was work to be done and they kept going. They skipped evening meal with the others. Though, unknown to them, the others were in similar moods. 

Grace and Chato left the kids with Zoe and they too headed to the training rooms. Tatsu and George followed. Zoe turned back in a moment of silence, watching them all head off. Determination on their faces. Pamela straightened her shoulders with resolve as she received a call. The kaiju samples were on the way. Harley had set down a folder in front of Commander Waller. Her face was uncertain and unhappy, but knew that with or without meeting Waller’s expectations her boys would be going into a jaeger tomorrow. There was no more putting the issue aside.

Waller lifted a hand and brought the folder closer, then she opened it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a slow update. Was unsure of how to do this chapter. I got busy with work and I was procrastinating a lot.  
Also, you'll note that I used dialogue from the movie, but I switched some of the words because I wanted to establish the characters more. I didn't want this story to be super fast(like the movie, but the movie worked because it was a movie.) so i'm extending the times a bit longer.


	15. Judas

There was one thing GQ still couldn’t get used to, was the sight of Shatterdome. Standing like a beacon, commanding his attention. He remembered his first time there. It was familiar and strange. It was like coming to the last chapter of a long story, one that wasn’t over yet. He could recall the news of the government decommissioning the Jaeger Program. 

Strange, how the years pass by so quickly when you’re constantly worried what day will be your last.

He may not be a jaeger pilot, but being so close to the Breach was distressing. 

GQ Edwards was tasked to go to Sydney and collect either a torn up kaiju or a torn up jaeger. Thank the lord it was the kaiju. They had set out with Exalted Pike and few other choppers. GQ was almost worried that they might not win. This was the first Category IV, and it was terrifying. However, seeing the jaeger dash into the fray as soon as it touched the ground, GQ knew that they would win. Besides, one of the pilots was taking this extremely personal. This was his home country. 

Now, they were a day and a half behind Pike. He was specifically tasked to come back to Shatterdome with samples. There was an annoying hold up but eventually they were on their way back.

Thank fuck.

He wanted to be in bed a day ago, but no. 

He wants to be asleep already and ready to go when he wakes up, but right now, all he’s getting is a cramp in his calf. 

He doesn’t have to worry much anymore, because he can see Shatterdome overtaking the horizon. Glittering in the early morning light. 

Unfortunately, he’s going to have to wait a little longer, because there’s a sudden shaking and the chopper is losing altitude. The few flight crew on board are securing the cargo and the pilot is doing what he’s damn best at. They are going down in a controlled enough descent. They’re too far away from the Shatterdome so the pilot banks to the side, to land on a more deserted part of the bay.

Soon, it becomes apparent that their crashing is exactly what they wanted.

GQ didn’t have time to pull out his sidearm and defend himself. 

He can only take the hit as it comes quickly at him, rendering him unconscious.

Waller is extremely unhappy at the turn of events. Rick can’t blame her. It’s the ass end of the morning and it has been a trying couple of days.

He had only been able to get an hour or two of sleep in before getting a call from the Commander.

The chopper that his friend and colleague was on, was ambushed. The crew was taken hostage and the samples were taken. All done by that damn cult. They were demanding some sort of ransom for the lives of the crew. Soon enough though, another group ambushed the cultists and took everything, including the crew. Scavengers.

Rick rolled his eyes heavenward, a breath deeply filling his lungs.

Waller had whipped out a phone, deep within a conversation with someone. There was an uneasy feeling settling in his gut. He watched her hang up,

“You know a harvester?”

“By reputation. We made a deal and that was that.”

Rick raised an eyebrow at her.

“They are giving our people back as well as the samples. I’m sending a team out and I’m going to have you go with them. I know you would have asked to go. I know he’s your friend.”

“Thank you, Commander. Where is the rendezvous?”

“That’s the harder part. He doesn’t want us to know where he is. They constantly move around, as scavengers do. He’ll have a hidden path for you to follow.”

“If I may speak freely, how’d you get them to give up the kaiju samples? They are scavengers after all.”

“I offered money. Money is just as important to him as any kaiju organ.”

“Ah.” 

Why is he surprised? It’s like he was in a movie.

“He’ll have a sigil hidden throughout the city, leading to his base. All you need is black light to find it.”

‘Sakes alive, it was like he was in a movie. No one does that anymore, or at all. Ever. 

“I love a good game of hide and seek.” His tone was heavy with dry sarcasm. He turns and leaves.

He and the rest of the team gear up and head out.

It was a chore, moving about the bustling city in a heavy downpour. The city was colorfully lit and the reflections of the water made things a little difficult. It was slow progress despite his best efforts to move quickly. It was like the world’s worst game, one that gave you one mission that had more than several subquests to follow before moving onto the main story line. 

Eventually they made it to a building that, at face value was simple vendor shop. After showing some shady civilian the symbol he was following, in a very cliche fashion, a panel in the wall rolled back to reveal a whole separate room.

People were moving quickly and efficiently. At the center of the room was GQ and his whole team and containers of kaiju remnants. At the front of them all stood a man of a strong build. Tall, big chested, muscled upper body, and platinum blonde hair. He was wearing a simple black suit and sunglasses. He definitely looked like the boss of operation. 

‘Why are you wearing sunglasses at night?’ Rick couldn’t help but think.

They both walked forward, meeting together. The man held out a hand, one that Rick was hesitant on shaking, but found that it was a situation he couldn’t avoid. His grip was very non-threatening and relaxed.

“Commander Waller appreciates you coming to help our people.”

“I’m sure she does. Those cultists can be very unpredictable. Who knows what they would have done,” the man responded lightly. He let go of Rick’s hand, who was slightly unsettled at his ominous words. Rick brings out a case, opens it and shows the man his money.

Yup. Just like in a movie.

“You and your people are free to leave.” 

He grabs the case from Rick, closes it and hands it off to some lackey who suddenly appeared. He watches as containers are moved out and the men start filing out. Rick hangs back, to make sure his fellow colleagues and friends make it out of the room. He follows and finds the man behind him, shadowing his steps. As they step out into the rain, Rick side-eyes him, 

“I must admit that I’m confused by your actions. It’s not like you people to give up on a kaiju’s remains. You could’ve asked for much more than money. You did have our people in the palm of your hands.”

“Indeed. My workers confessed to similar concerns. I owed your commander. Simple. You know, she saved my life, in a manner of speaking. Now, I’ve repaid my debt and you have your people safe and sound.”

Rick was curious about how Waller managed to save the life of a black market dealer who went around harvesting kaiju organs. Though he supposed that in the grand scheme, it was hardly relevant.

Nodding his goodbye to the man, he headed after his team. Behind him, he heard slightly over the rain, 

“Good luck.”

Without much time to think over the man’s words, Rick jogged to catch up with his group, lest he gets lost. He finally caught up to GQ and matched his pace. They walked shoulder to shoulder.

“Thanks for getting us back.”

“You’ll have to tell the Commander that.”

“If I could, I’d tell her that she can wait until I get a full night’s sleep.”

Rick huffed out a laugh.

“I’m surprised that she got away with giving them with a little money and a kaiju sample.”

Rick faulted in his step,

“What do you mean? She only offered him money.” Rick gave his friend a very confused look, one that GQ returned,

“Then we have a problem because we’re missing a container.”

It was then that concern washed over his face. He slows his step and tells GQ to subtly speed up his pace. Rick tells his friend to reach the front of the group to tell them to contact the Commander and to hurry up. He was uneasy and felt like there were walls were closing in around him. 

He was suddenly aware of footsteps echoing his. Closing in. He could suddenly feel eyes on him. Following him. Closing in.

He surreptitiously raised a hand to his radio. In a firm tone, he quickly says, 

“I’m being followed. Get ahold of Shatterdome. Now.”

He slows down, more than willing to meet resistance if it gave his team more time. However, he felt a slight pinch at his neck. He reached around quickly. Touching a small object, he knew immediately what it was. With only minutes to act, he radioed, 

“Get out of here now! I’ve been tranqed. Unknown assailant. Get. Out. NOW!”

His eyes felt heavy and he found his body responding slower and slower. Before he completely blacked out, he could feel hands on his body, preventing him from falling. His last view was that of his team, he lost them in a sea of people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really struggled with this chapter. I've been busy with work. Although we weren't really busy, my hours have been wildly different than my usual hours.   
Although his name is never said, the harvester talking to Rick is modelled after Hannibal Chau from the Pacific Rim movie, but since I feel like I wouldn't get his character right, I made my own.   
More angst on the way.  
Thank you for reading and sticking with me.


	16. You Do It Naturally

For all the short time they’ve all known each other, they’ve all grown close. Which made it hard to witness someone descend into a spiral of worry, especially when they’ve found out their partner has been kidnapped.

It was only two days after watching Tatsu and George take down the first category IV kaiju and they’ve just found out that some of their colleagues had been attacked by crazed cultists, to them being rescued by some black market harvester, to one of their veteran jaeger pilots being kidnapped. It was a lot to take in. They were trained to deal with highly stressful situations, but that didn’t make it any easier. This was their friend and to some, this was someone more important than that. 

Watching Floyd spitting and yelling was hard to watch. When brought with the news, Floyd had been, at first, silent. There was no other word to describe it more accurately than unsettling. Looking at his face, into his eyes, it was easy to see that he was no longer there with them. He had a faraway look in his eyes. He was slowly digesting the information. Analyzing it. Weighing its worth, its truth. Then.

Then.

That’s when he started yelling. He had to be physically restrained by Waylon and GQ. Everyone around him looked on with uncertainty, sympathy, and trepidation. Everyone, save one person. She stood above the rest. She weathered the storm in front of her. Although she was shorter compared to Floyd, it made no difference. She stood there, hands clasped behind her. Waiting. She had the world’s most impressive amount of patience. They all watched on as Floyd ran out of steam and visibly slumped, Waylon had one hand on his upper arm. Offering support. Physically and emotionally. 

After a moment of taking in the moment of defeat settling in Floyd’s shoulders, Commander Amanda Waller turns to the rest of her people. Mainly Isley. 

“Why take the brain?”

“I’m not sure. I’m impressed though. They took the secondary brain. It’s common knowledge that kaiju are too large to function with just one brain. However, getting to the primary brain is hard, but the secondary brain, harder. By the time you get to it, the brain rots away.”

“Yes. Impressive, but why. Why would they need it?”

Pamela looks to Waller with slightly raised eyebrows and shrugging shoulders,

“I can’t say.”

Floyd slowly closed his eyes, tightly. Trying to steal himself. Trying to regain control of his emotions. He knows full well that throwing a tantrum isn’t going to help Rick. He knew that, but his heart wasn’t wanting to listen. No one was to touch his partner, no one was allowed to ruin what they started to build together. There was no mercy left now. 

There would be no mercy to those who messed with him and his family. 

He had trouble trying to count all the different ways he would make them all pay.

No mercy. Not anymore.

Floyd Lawton opened his eyes.

Waller definitely noticed the change in him. She saw the way his shoulders relaxed, the way his back straightened. He gently brushed off the hands restraining his arms. When he finally looked up, she knew exactly what she needed to know. What Waller saw was not a common man.

What Amanda Waller saw was a predator. 

Without looking at Pamela, she commanded, 

“Learn what you can from those samples and get back to me as soon as you’re able.”

Pamela Isley uncrossed her arms and gave a determined nod to the commander and set off.

Waller still had eyes on Floyd and he stared back, 

“Now that you’ve calmed down, we can work on a rescue plan. If you can prove to me that you won’t be a hindrance, I’ll let you help. I will not suffer any insubordination, do you hear me? We are dealing with a very dangerous group. We don't know much about them, how they work, or what their true motives are. We can't have you rushing in without a plan. We can't afford mistakes. Mistakes lead to the loss of lives.”

There was no denying the look in his eyes. All of his waking thoughts were focused on getting Rick back. Gone was the fevered haze of rage in his eyes and what took its place was determination.

Good. 

Floyd Lawton definitely opened his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that my chapters are short. I find it hard to flow from one situation to another without making clear break. I find it hard to break my writing up like that. It just doesn't feel right to me. However, with some previous chapters, I've noticed how choppy they can be, so some chapters will be short than others.  
Title inspired by Hozier's Movement.  
I hope you all are still liking the story so far. If there's anything you think could use some work, or some advice, please let me know!


	17. Drifting Down, Down, Down

He couldn’t tell how long it had been since the cultists grabbed him from the streets of Hong Kong. He had no idea where he was and he couldn’t tell if he was dead or alive. He couldn’t make out much of anything at the moment.

He had been barely waking up from whatever they drugged him with before he was approached by men in dark clothing. He couldn’t see anything from that point on. They had blindfolded him, taking away his sight, but he could still feel. He could feel them put some kind of mask on him, taking away his sense of smell, and they finished by putting in earplugs. They bound his hands behind him and set him down somewhere and left him alone. 

It was sensory deprivation torture.

He was left alone to succumb to doubt and decay. He was left to drift alone in his own mind. 

Drifting alone into oblivion.

Drifting.

Alone.

Drifting.

I can’t feel anything.

Hello!

I can’t hear anything.

Drifting.

Where are they?

Where am I?

Help

Please help me

Oh god help me please help me 

Where are you!

D r i f t i n g

HELP ME

D r i f t i n g

FLOYD?

JUNE?

HELP

I can’t feel anything. I can’t see anything. I can’t hear. Where are you?! 

D r i f t i n g

Please help me 

Floyd

At first Rick couldn’t hear anything. However, as time passed, he could feel the panic settle in. He could feel his chest tightening, he breathing sped up and he could hear a roaring in his ears. Echoing in his mind. Bouncing around, getting louder and louder. He felt like passing out. He was having a hard time breathing.

He was hoping to pass out. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to deal with the darkness surrounding him. Expanding, enclosing, encompassing. 

He wanted it to stop. He wanted to be back at base, with Floyd and his terrible jokes. He wanted to talk with the others, he would even take their making fun of him. He wanted to talk to Zoe. Her voice was quiet and calm and soothing. He could listen to her talk about anything. He wanted to hear Floyd and his daughter talk. About anything. He wanted to be back with them. 

He just wanted to be back with his partner.

He could feel the darkness creep up on him. Like hands walking up his arms and legs, trying to grab him and pull him down. He could feel the hands wrap around his throat, choking the stale air from him. He could feel himself going down, down down. As he fell, he could feel it.

He could feel her.

June.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. Sorry for the short chapter, but I didn't want to go from Rick's perspective and flip all the way over to Floyd's. I have a hard time trying to tie them together in the same chapter.  
I've been busy with other things that this story kind of fell through the cracks. Plus, I've been trying to find ways to get more of a connection between Rick and Floyd, but I think with what I have planned next will really kick it off. It'll hopefully seem more realistic and impactful.  
Thanks for sticking with me.


	18. When All That You Had Has Turned Stale and Cold

It’s taken them too long to figure out a viable rescue plan. Too long to find out where the cultists had taken Rick. It has taken them two days to scope out the area and see if they couldn’t find a pattern to their movements. There has been no word from the cultists. No word, nor demand, nor ransom. There was nothing from them but silence.

Normally something like this would take a little longer to plan out, but Floyd was feeling anxious. His nerves were getting the best of him. He was on edge, testy, and losing any and all patience he had.

With little to no knowledge on these people made them all the more dangerous. Floyd had no idea what they were doing to his partner. No one on base knew what they could do. Which made him more worried for Rick’s safety. They had to come up with a plan as best they could in the time they could sacrifice. 

Now they were out in the rain, ‘Always with the fucking rain,’ Floyd couldn’t help but viciously complain, and they were converging on their base. Leading the rescue was GQ Edwards. Commander Waller didn’t want to risk Floyd putting people at risk if he didn’t control his emotions. Floyd wanted to defend himself, he was a professional. He knew what the stakes were and he knew how to conduct himself in the face of adversity, but she’d stare him down. He knew what she’d say. He knew that she’d be right. They’d both seen people bend and break and get themselves killed over emotions. Emotions never fought the fight and saved the people they care about. Well planned out missions, with the right people, weapons, and defences, did. Floyd also knew that Rick wouldn’t want people’s lives to be on the line because of him.

“We’re at the back, waiting for your mark,” a voice crackled through their earpieces. 

“Copy that,” GQ responded quietly. He looked up and made sure he caught the eyes of Floyd and Waylon.

They had made their way through the busy streets, dodging through people and keeping their heads down. They had made sure to be spread out enough to make it seem like they were any other person, going about their business. They had to make sure to be as invisible as possible as they got closer and closer to the target.

GQ, Floyd, Waylon and two others were to approach the cultists’ base from the front while a team of only a few combat trained people Waller could spare for this mission were to approach the back. They were to take out, as discreetly as possible, as many cultists they could recognize. Once the team at the back cleared out the area, they would report to GQ. Waylon and Floyd had made sure the front was clear before GQ walked up. GQ was at a higher risk of being recognized by the cultists from the incident from before.

After nodding to Floyd and Waylon, GQ had slowly pulled out his gun and ordered in a hushed tone, 

“Ready on my mark. Three, two, one, mark!”

Hoping for the best on both ends, Floyd and Waylon had brute forced the door open. They rushed in, followed by GQ. They spread out and pointed their guns out, getting as much in their view as possible. 

What they saw made them freeze.

It was a dozen or more cultists pointing their weapons at both groups, and in between all of it all was someone they could only surmise was the leader of the cult and Rick.

Rick who was wrapped up in himself. 

White torture. 

How barbaric.

Of all the things Floyd feared he’d see, white torture had definitely not made the list. He’d pictured Rick bloody and beaten. He’d feared Rick bleeding out from a gunshot wound, fevered from being burned, gasping for air from being strangled. The list went on, but all he saw was Rick deprived of almost all his senses, save touch. Rick couldn’t even hear them. Floyd could see Rick shaking like a leaf. Floyd could only guess what Rick was thinking. What he was fearing. 

“Put down your guns and surrender,” The voice that ordered them was deep and rich, if somewhat rough, “You all know how this works. There isn’t enough of you and the man you want is at risk of dying. Now please surrender or I will kill someone.”

Floyd wanted to run up and start punching. Floyd wanted to hit himself. Of course this is happening. Nothing could ever be easy. Floyd casted his eyes to the side, waiting for GQ. Edwards nodded and ordered everyone to put their guns down and do as they saw.

The man next to Rick seemed pleased and then ordered his people to gather them up. Hands reached out for them, separating them from their weapons which laid on the ground. The glint of the metal was innocent and Floyd could only feel betrayal. 

They were brought to the man, their arms and legs were bound together with zip ties, and were pushed to their knees. Completely at the mercy of this man.

Floyd took a moment to stare at the man. Olive skin, black hair, and dark eyes. An overall average looking man. Mid thirties to early forties he’d have to guess. He didn’t look nice but neither did he look like a cruel man. Once he had taken in as much as he could stand, Floyd turned his eyes to the one thing he cared more about, Rick.

As he looked closer, he could see what he previously couldn’t in the dark room with poor lighting. Rick was hooked up to a very familiar machine, if a bit primitive. Floyd followed the cords from Rick to the machine and from the machine to-

Floyd felt the dread hit him hard. Something churned in his stomach.

Connected with Rick to the machine was a kaiju brain. The brain that the cultists took for some reason. 

They were going to force Rick to drift with a kaiju.

Why?

“Why?!” He couldn’t help but yell, startling the others. The man looked back at Rick and then smiled, 

“He will be deeply honored to be connected to the kaiju. He’ll know why they have come, why they must come. He will understand, finally. It is wrong for you to fight against them. They have come to liberate us all. He will understand and so will you.”

“No, please don’t. Please.” Was all that he could whisper, harshly.

The man kept his smile and flipped the switch and Floyd could only watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. Hope everyone's doing well. I've been busy with work and figuring out life. Had some inspiration so i was finally able to get a chapter out.  
Title inspired by Imagine Dragons's Gold.  
Hope you enjoy it. As always, let me know if there's a mistake or if you have any advice for a new writer.


	19. Sundered Seas and Their Despairs

Floyd really wanted to expect Rick to scream out in pain as soon as the man flipped the switch, but he knew better. All he could do was watch as Rick’s whole frame went rigid for a tense few minutes. All was silent until Rick started to shake. It was small at first. Shoulders shaking up and down, then his arms and legs would give a twitch. After a few minutes more, Rick was shaking uncontrollably, Floyd could only describe it as a seizure. Strained, ugly, pained noises were being pulled from deep within Rick’s chest.

And the only thing they could do was watch.

Watch as Rick drifted with the brain of the worst nightmare to ever plague the earth. And it was only a piece of the brain. Floyd was terrified at the sudden thought of someone drifting with an entire kaiju brain.

The cultist continued smiling, sated and satisfied. It wasn’t a condescending smirk, just content. He walked up to the shaking form of Rick and slowly started taking off the respirator mask, then the earplugs, then finally the blindfold.

To the man’s delight and to Floyd’s horror, Rick’s eyes were rolled into the back of his head, but instead of seeing white, they were tinted red. A slow but steady blood flow came out of his nose. Rick’s head was tilted slightly skyward. The guttural noises were louder and more pained.

Floyd knew that it no longer mattered for Rick to remain wrapped up. He wouldn’t be feeling, seeing, or hearing anything on this side. He wanted to be angry at the man for recognizing the same. However, all he could focus on was the time passing by as Rick suffered. All he could do was wait.

Wait for backup.

Commander Amanda Waller wasn’t naive enough to think that this rescue mission would be a walk in the park. She’d made sure to listen to the whole operation as it went down in the real. In case they were caught, they’d wait to see how the situation unfurled. She’d had a mental list of all the possible ways this would go. Fortunately and unfortunately, all she could hear after their capture was one of her best pilots moaning in pain. There was no gunfire, no sound of fighting, not even any threats.

It was perfect. 

She had two options. One was the most reasonable and the other one was something she really wanted to do. Screw authorization and niceties. Send in another team or send in a jaeger. She really wanted to send in the jaeger, to stomp out these cultists. However, there was no way to justify the deployment of a jaeger just to rescue one pilot, no matter how invaluable he is. She couldn’t tell her superiors that she sent it out because of her emotions. She couldn’t justify sending out a jaeger because she was annoyed by these cultists.

She had two other teams waiting for her call. Both teams were coordinated and led by Tatsu, with her partner, George Harkness not far behind her. Whatever Harkness lacked in finesse, he made up for it in raw and wild physical force. Tatsu was controlled, concise, and precise in her actions.

After considering the situation, Waller gave Tatsu the all-clear.

It didn’t take them long to infiltrate the building and subdue the cultists.

Tatsu and her teams tore through the doors and quickly laid each cultist out. She and George had but a scant few seconds to identify the most dangerous and most important individuals in the room. Not that it was hard, what with the man next to Rick and seemingly in a sort of spotlight. A spotlight that screamed, ‘I’m right here, come punch me in the face’.

And that is exactly what they did. The two of them bee-lined right for the man. Tatsu took a shot at the face while George delivered a gutpunch. The man was launched a good several feet backwards before landing in a heap, unconscious. 

Fucking good, they all thought.

In a few moments, they had Floyd and his team freed. As soon as the zip ties were broken, Floyd was off and heading towards Rick. 

Rick was still shaking like a leaf.

Tatsu made quick note of the machine that he was hooked up to and followed it to the brain. She then made a motion to turn off the machine, to which Floyd halted quickly, 

“No, don’t turn it off!” The desperation in his voice carried through the room, echoing and echoing. Tatsu’s hand stopped mid-motion, her head snapping to Floyd, 

“What, why?”

“If you turn it off when he’s this deep, he might not come back!”

“He can’t keep going like this, Lawton.” She reasoned, gently. George coming up on her right, watching the two of them and glancing at the prone man between the two of them.

“I know that! Fuck if I don’t know that.” 

His body lost energy to yell at Tatsu, who was only a few feet from him. He looked back and forth between Rick and the machine, hopelessly trying to figure something out. He was running out of time, Tatsu made a small noise.

“Disconnect the brain. We keep Rick drifting, but we take away the brain. Then at least he’d be drifting in a space I can get to.”

“That’s just as risky as turning the whole thing off, but alright. If you think you can find him, we’ll do it. Just don’t lose yourself trying to find him.”

“I won’t.” Voice firm and confident. Eyes locked with hers. Unwavering.

Tatsu disconnected the brain.

Floyd hooked himself in and went in for the plunge.

Falling.

Falling.

Splashing and drowning in deep cold water. Something Floyd associated with Rick’s subspace. Well, the subspace when he was in distress. No matter how they fell down the rabit hole, they always landed here. 

Floyd remembered the first time landing here. The petrifying sensation of falling before making contact with the water. A feeling not unlike a belly flop. He remembered swimming upwards, trying to reach the surface, trying to gasp for air. He remembered the hysteria and feeling directionless until he forced himself to still. Calm the body and the mind. He opened his eyes and let out a small amount of air, watching the bubbles show him the way upward. After breaching the surface, he picked a point on the horizon and started swimming. It started feeling like hours just swimming that Floyd closed his eyes and hoped to find land soon.

After what seemed like days, he felt a surface under his feet. He pushed himself faster and harder. Soon enough he was standing up and walking. He lifted his gaze and found nothing but water. It stretched out before him and went far into the horizon. There was no beach, nor any sign of civilization. The sky was a dull blue grey, hanging low, making it feel like it was something he could jump up and touch. He was shin-deep in water that seemed eternal. He could only stare out and despair.

That first time in this place was something of an existential crisis for Floyd. He remembered closing his eyes tightly and hoped to wake from this deep dream. He kept them closed for so long. Thoughts filled with his friends back at base, his daughter, and Rick. Rick, who had disappeared from him in this place of frigid bleakness. 

It was something he was getting used to. This was the deepest he ever dared to get. This time however, he closed his eyes and focused. Time passed and passed and passed, but soon he started to hear noises. Alarms crying out in a harsh shrill. A man crying out in pain. Sounds of creaking metal and crackling electricity, as if a live-wire cut. Sounds of a deep gurgle that would forever haunt him were just beyond the noise of the metal. Sounds of waves crashing against the side of whatever room he was in. He could still feel the water lapping at his ankles. He opened his eyes.

And found himself in the halls of the pilot quarters. He found himself staring at the two figures in front of him, walking towards him.

Battle-worn and tired. There was a tension between them. Rick seemed hesitant while she looked despondent. Her skin was fair but pale and her eyes held a far distance in them. She was very far away from the moment. Rick was casting a worried glance at her, 

“Are you sure you want to do this, June?” 

“Yes.”

“We can have another team handle it,” 

“Rick-” She stopped walking, Rick following suit, “I get why you’re worried, but let’s...can we talk about this later? I promise we will, but right now let’s go. The commander is waiting for us.” 

June never lifted her eyes up. Never gave Rick the chance to see how dead they looked. She just walked away, leaving him behind her. Rick gave a few quick steps, his long legs catching up to her. They passed right through Floyd and they made their way to the hangar bay.

Floyd followed after them.

He saw a younger Commander Waller. No less intimidating, mind you. Just younger. She still held a presence and had authority in her voice. She called them out on their tardiness to which they apologized. She gave them a quick report, 

“This will be the first category four, named Knifehead. I’m counting on you two to handle this.”

Ah, Knifehead. This is that fateful day. The fight that haunts Rick day in and day out.

He follows them to their jaeger, a name that went down in the sea along with its pilot. The June Fire. A simple name for a titan. Rick was actually the one that named her apparently. June and him were childhood friends. They were at a bonfire by the beach when June had ended up getting part of her shirt set aflame. Rick panicked and grabbed her and threw her into the lake. He told Floyd that she never let him live the moment down, even though she was the one to catch fire.

He let them walk into the hull of the jaeger together, the doors closing behind them. He gave himself a minute before following in.

He walked in and he saw Knifehead charge at them, jaw clamping around the jaeger’s right arm cannon and ripping it off like it was tearing open a bag of chips. He could see sparks travel up and down Rick’s arm, making him cry out. Floyd winced in sympathy. Beside him, June hung from the Conn-Pod, staring off into space, then teeth pierced the her side of the hull. She looked to the teeth and then to Rick, who was dead to the fight. A moment later she was gone. Knifehead had ripped her away and tossed her aside. 

She was left to drown and remain there forever.

Her side of the Conn-Pod system was torn away, leaving wires dangling and spitting out electricity. Impulses from her side of the system traveled for the last time to Rick, the electric current started as a bright cluster along the spinal clamp before making their way across every part of Rick’s body. The scream he let out was heartbreaking and bloodcurdling. The shock was enough to bring back, barely. Water was filling into the hull quickly. Disoriented and confused, he only had a few moments to realize that Knifehead had let go of the jaeger and circled back to charge at him. He reached over to activate the left arm cannon, firing all he had into the kaiju.

When it was done, he blacked out for a few minutes. A very tense few minutes. Floyd knew that Rick would make it, but it didn’t make him feel less scared for his partner. Water was now up to Rick’s waist when he woke up. His eye was red and there was blood coming through his nose. He took a minute to fully wake up and pulled the jaeger to his feet. 

Then he started stumbling through the stormy sea and kept going until he would eventually hit land.

Rick seemed to move on autopilot. He was in a lot of shock. 

Floyd wanted to go over and disconnect him, gather him up in his arms and never let go.

So he did.

This was a memory, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

He unhooked Rick and took off that god-awful piloting suit. Underneath it all was bloody and cold. Floyd moved them so that his back was to one of the walls of the hull and he wrapped his arms around Rick and rested his forehead against his.

“I’m here now. Wave off these despairs, Rick. I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter I've written and honestly i think it's my best so far.  
Let me know what you think.  
Hope you're all doing ok.


End file.
